NFL Sunday Round-Up: Week 5

It's a "Good News/Bad News" kind of week here at The Ultimate Football Blog. We don't have any time for chit-chat today (you can go ahead and blame "Shadow of Mordor" for that), so let's get straight to the action....


(As always, the Sunday Night Football game isn't recapped due to time constraints....)


Minnesota - 10 (2-3) @ Green Bay - 42 (3-2)


Good News for Minnesota: Teddy Bridgewater shouldn't miss much time, so this whole Christian Ponder thing was just a temporary band-aid. Don't worry Vikings fans, things will get better when Bridgewater returns.

Bad News for Minnesota: Adrian Peterson isn't coming back anytime soon because he's an asshole. That unfortunately ruins any hope of seeing a Vikings offense led by Teddy-Time and "ALL-DAY" which would be a thing of beauty.

Good News for Green Bay: The Packers are r-e-l-a-x-e-d and when they are r-e-l-a-x-e-d, they are rolling.

Bad News for Green Bay: You're still going to have to likely play Seattle in Seattle in the post-season at some point. Doesn't it suck having that looming over your head?


Minnesota Offensive MVP: Adam Thielen (4 catches, 57 yards)

Minnesota Defensive MVP: Harrison Smith (6 tackles, 1 tackle for loss, 1 interception)

Green Bay Offensive MVP: Eddie Lacy (13 carries, 105 rushing yards, 2 TD's, 3 catches, 27 receiving yards)

Green Bay Defensive MVP: Mike Daniels (3 tackles, 1.5 sacks, 4 QB hits)

Up next for Minnesota: vs. Detroit (3-2)

Up next for Green Bay: vs. @ Miami (2-2)

Chicago - 24 (2-3) @ Carolina - 31 (3-2)

Good News for Chicago: There wasn't much this week. Jay Cutler's rushing TD perhaps?

Bad News for Chicago: Gotta work on fixing those turnovers. Four turnovers ended up ultimately costing the Bears a fourteen-point lead. You're not going to win football games in the NFL if you don't win the turnover battle. Does it also hurt that it was a former Bear (Greg Olsen) that ended up having a monster game against Chicago?

Good News for Carolina: The team has the defense and Greg Olsen to thank for this win. They both came up huge in the final minutes to give Carolina the win.

Bad News for Carolina: The Panthers have no running game what-so-ever thanks to injuries. It's pretty sad when you have a guy that's a fifth-string running back getting the bulk of the team's carries.  

Chicago Offensive MVP: Matt Forte (17 carries, 61 rushing yards, 12 receptions, 105 receiving yards, 1 TD)

Chicago Defensive MVP: Isaiah Frey (6 tackles, 1 fumble recovery)

Carolina Offensive MVP: Greg Olsen (6 receptions, 72 yards, 2 TD's)

Carolina Defensive MVP: Luke Kuechly (15 tackles)

Up next for Chicago: vs. @ Atlanta (2-3)

Up next for Carolina: vs. @ Cincinnati (3-1)

Cleveland - 29 (2-2) @ Tennessee - 28 (1-4)

Cleveland Offensive MVP: Brian Hoyer (21 of 37 for 292 yards, 3 TD's 1 INT, 98.0 QB rating)

Cleveland Defensive MVP: K'Waun Williams (6 tackles, 1 sack, 1 pass deflected)

Tennessee Offensive MVP: Kendall Wright (6 receptions, 47 receiving yards, 2 carries, 43 rushing yards, 2 TD's)

Tennessee Defensive MVP: Michael Griffin (14 tackles, 1 sack, 1 interception)

Up next for Cleveland: vs. Pittsburgh (3-2)

Up next for Tennessee: vs. Jacksonville (0-5)

St. Louis - 28 (1-3) @ Philadelphia - 34 (4-1)

Good News for St. Louis: Austin Davis continues to play decent. While he definitely has lots of areas to improve upon (completion percentage, etc.), he continues to show promise and he's an improvement over Sam Bradford....at least in my book. Then again, my grandma would be an improvement over Sam Bradford.

Bad News for St. Louis: You lost the game. Again. For a team that was supposed to be an up-and-coming team this year in the toughest division in the NFL, it's not a good thing that you've only won one game and you haven't even started divisional play yet. How does Marcus Mariota sound to you Rams fans? He may want to start searching the real estate sections in the greater-St. Louis area. 

Good News for Philadelphia: You won the game. It wasn't pretty, but you won the game and moved to 4-1. You still have plenty to work on on both sides of the ball, but then again, which NFL team is perfect? Just please stop the complaining Philly fans. I've never heard a fan base that was 4-1 and complained so much. 

Bad News for Philadelphia: It's never good when your defense gives up 28 points to a team led by Austin Davis. That is not something a "Super Bowl contender" should do. That's something the Eagles are going to want to get solved before they end up facing an elite offense, especially come playoff time.

St. Louis Offensive MVP: Austin Davis (29 of 49 for 375 yards, 3 TD's, 103.7 QB rating)

St. Louis Defensive MVP: E.J. Gaines (4 tackles, 2 passes deflected, 1 fumble recovery, 1 interception)

Philadelphia Offensive MVP: Jeremy Maclin (5 receptions, 76 yards, 1 TD)

Philadelphia Defensive MVP: Connor Barwin (4 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 pass deflected)

Up next for St. Louis: vs. San Francisco (3-2)

Up next for Philadelphia: vs. New York Giants (3-2)

Atlanta - 20 (2-3) @ New York Giants - 30 (3-2)

Good News for Atlanta: There wasn't much good news here for the Falcons. I guess the good news is, even when the Falcons lose....they'll still always have the "Dirty Bird":

Bad News For Atlanta: Mike Smith is still your head coach. Love him or hate him, but the guy is not a good NFL head coach. The Falcons are a talented team and with a better coach, they would probably be one of the best in the NFL. They still have plenty of questions on the defensive side of the ball though. They spent a lot of money in free agency to shore up their defensive line and it hasn't panned out yet. Just another reminder that teams that go out and splooge in free agency, don't always get immediate payoffs. Good teams are built in the draft.

Good News for NY Giants: When Eli Manning plays well, the Giants usually win:

Bad News for NY Giants: Giants have to travel to Philadelphia next week in a huge showdown against the Eagles. If the Giants win, they can find themselves sniffing first-place in the NFC East. I don't think they will, but I've been wrong before and the Giants did get a win in Philly last season. 

Atlanta Offensive MVP: Julio Jones (11 receptions, 105 yards)

Atlanta Defensive MVP: Kemal Ishmael/Paul Worrilow (14 tackles)

NY Giants Offensive MVP: Eli Manning (19 of 30 for 200 yards, 2 TD's, 104.9 QB rating)

NY Giants Defensive MVP: Jacquian Williams (14 tackles, 1 tackle for loss, 1 pass deflected)

Up next for Atlanta: vs. Chicago (2-3)

Up next for NY Giants: vs. @ Philadelphia (4-1)

Tampa Bay - 31 (1-4) @ New Orleans - 37 (2-3)

Good News for Tampa Bay: You played the Saints well. I know New Orleans hasn't exactly looked like the team that everyone thought they were going to be at the beginning of the season, but you still played them well and had them on the ropes. Not only that, but you also kept yourself in the running for Marcus Mariota and the #1 overall pick. That's the perfect way to have a horrible season in the NFL. If you are going to lose games, at least lose them competitively and keep yourself in the running for a top draft pick. A 6-10 or 7-9 season never benefits anyone.

Bad News for Tampa Bay: Welp, you lost. You showed a lot of heart, but you still lost. 

Good News for New Orleans: Pierre Thomas was in BEAST MODE today and thanks to him the Saints improved to 2-3 and are only one game out of first place in their division. Just when people were ready to hit the "Panic" button in New Orleans, things are starting to look up.

Bad News for New Orleans: You let the Buccaneers hang around too long and it almost cost you the game. If it wasn't for the running game, you very likely could have ended up 1-4 with people starting to hyperventilate in the "Big Easy". Still, no one in New Orleans should be breathing easy though as this team still has a lot of issues. I picked them to go far in the post-season and I'm highly considering tracking down the drugs I was taking when I made that pick. 

Tampa Bay Offensive MVP: Vincent Jackson (8 receptions, 144 yards)

Tampa Bay Defensive MVP: Danny Lansanah (10 tackles, 2 passes deflected, 1 interception, 1 TD)

New Orleans Offensive MVP: Pierre Thomas (4 carries, 35 rushing yards, 1 TD, 8 receptions, 77 receiving yards, 1 TD)

New Orleans Defensive MVP: Kenny Vaccaro (6 tackles, 1 pass deflected)

Up next for Tampa Bay: vs. Baltimore (3-2)

Up next for New Orleans: BYE WEEK

Houston - 17 (3-2) @ Dallas - 20 (4-1)

"HEY DEZ! THE COWBOYS ARE 4-1!"

I picked the Cowboys to win 3 games all-season and for Jerry Jones to hit the "RESET" button at the end of the year. I'm starting to question everything I thought I ever knew about the NFL. Enjoy it while it lasts though Cowboys fans because the schedule is going to start go get a little more difficult, starting next week. 

Houston Offensive MVP: Arian Foster (23 carries, 157 yards, 2 catches, 15 receiving yards, 2 TD's)

Houston Defensive MVP: Brian Cushing (8 tackles, 1 sack)

Dallas Offensive MVP: DeMarco Murray (31 carries, 136 yards, 6 catches, 56 receiving yards)

Dallas Defensive MVP: Brandon Carr (8 tackles, 1 pass deflected)

Up next for Houston: vs. Indianapolis (3-2)

Up next for Dallas: vs. @ Seattle (2-1)

Buffalo - 17 (3-2) @ Detroit - 14 (3-2)

Every week I get to use this gif:

Once again, it fits properly here. Just last weekend, everyone was ready to start throwing wood on the fire in Buffalo and everyone was ready to pencil in Detroit as a playoff team. A week later, Buffalo goes to Detroit and beats the Lions. That's what happens when you're able to play solid defense. Buffalo gets a lot of flack for their offense (and it is pretty putrid outside of Sammy Watkins), but they have a good defense and Detroit learned that lesson the hard way this past weekend. Will the Lions be able to recover from this or is this the beginning of the Lions doing what the Lions do every year and flop on their faces? We'll find out next week. 

Buffalo Offensive MVP: Fred Jackson (10 carries, 49 rushing yards, 7 receptions, 58 receiving yards)

Buffalo Defensive MVP: Marcell Dareus (5 tackles, 3 sacks)

Detroit Offensive MVP: Golden Tate (7 catches, 134 yards, 1 TD)

Detroit Defensive MVP: DeAndre Levy (13 tackles, 1 tackle for loss)

Up next for Buffalo: vs. New England (3-2)

Up next for Detroit: vs. @ Minnesota (2-3)

Baltimore - 13 (3-2) @ Indianapolis - 20 (3-2)

Good News for Baltimore: Even though you lost, the Ray Rice stuff seems to be in the past. That's good news, right?

Bad News for Baltimore: You lost the football game. Not only that, but you lost the football game to the team that once resided in Baltimore and left in the middle of the damn night! The Ravens and the Colts aren't divisional rivals by any means, but Baltimore fans always will have a little bit of resentment for the Colts and you can't blame them. 

Good News for Indianapolis: You have Andrew Luck. Even when he doesn't play outstanding (like in this game), he'll still find you ways to win the football game because that's what he does. I <3 Andrew Luck.

Bad News for Indianapolis: You have Andrew Luck. You've won 3 games in a row. Everything seems to be clicking right, so what do you want me to say? I guess Luck can stop throwing so many interceptions, but that's one of the reasons I like him so much. He's not afraid to take chances. I guess the bad news is now you have to play Houston on Thursday night. No one likes Thursday night NFL games, not even the players.

Baltimore Offensive MVP: Justin Forsett (6 carries, 42 rushing yards, 7 catches, 55 receiving yards, 1 TD)

Baltimore Defensive MVP: C.J. Mosley (15 tackles, 1 QB hit, 1 interception)

Indianapolis Offensive MVP: Ahmad Bradshaw (15 carries, 68 rushing yards, 4 catches, 17 receiving yards)

Indianapolis Defensive MVP: Bjoern Werner (6 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 pass deflected)

Up next for Baltimore: vs. @ Tampa Bay (1-4)

Up next for Indianapolis: vs. @ Houston (3-2)

Pittsburgh - 17 (3-2) @ Jacksonville - 9 (0-5)

Sometimes all you need is a picture.

Pittsburgh Offensive MVP: Ben Roethlisberger (26 of 36 for 273 yards, 1 TD, 103.1 QB rating)

Pittsburgh Defensive MVP: Cortez Allen (7 tackles, 3 passes deflected)

Jacksonville Offensive MVP: No one. Everyone was awful and should be ashamed of themselves.

Jacksonville Defensive MVP: Paul Posluszny (12 tackles, 1 sack, 1 pass deflected)

Up next for Pittsburgh: vs. @ Cleveland (2-2)

Up next for Jacksonville: vs. @ Tennessee (1-4)

Arizona - 20 (3-1) @ Denver - 41 (3-1)

Good News for Arizona: You play the Redskins next week so you should get back on the winning track.

Bad News for Arizona: You lost your first game of the season. Get over it, it happens to everyone. Only one NFL team has ever gone undefeated the entire season. It's not about losses in the NFL, it's about what you learn from those losses.

Good News for Denver: Demaryius Thomas absolutely went off once again in a record-setting performance. When Thomas and Manning are keyed in like this, there isn't a defense in the NFL that can stop them.....except the Seahawks. But hey, we all want to see that game again, right?

Bad News for Denver: There's not a whole lot of bad news going on right now in Denver. The offense looked good, the defense played well, and they handed the Cardinals their first loss of the season. Yep, it's a good to be a Broncos fan right now. You couldn't say that after the Super Bowl, but I think it's safe to say that once again.

Arizona Offensive MVP: Andre Ellington (16 carries, 32 rushing yards, 4 catches, 112 receiving yards, 2 TD's)

Arizona Defensive MVP: Jeraud Powers (7 tackles, 1 interception)

Denver Offensive MVP: Demaryius Thomas (8 catches, 226 yards, 2 TD's)

Denver Defensive MVP: Von Miller (3 tackles, 1.5 sacks, 2 tackles for loss, 4 QB hits)

Up next for Arizona: vs. Washington (1-3)

Up next for Denver: vs. @ New York Jets (1-4)

New York Jets - 17 (1-3) @ San Diego - 41 (2-2)


Good News for NY Jets: The 2015 NFL Draft is loaded with young offensive playmakers that are sure to score you some points next season. Not only that, but there are plenty of good coaches like Gus Malzahn, Jimbo Fisher, or Kevin Sumlin that could potentially be talked into coming to the NFL and leading your team. What you currently see placed in front of you on a week-to-week basis is what we football purists call.....

Bad News for NY Jets: Mark Sanchez isn't walking through that door anytime soon.

Good News for San Diego: The Chargers are the best team in the AFC not named the Denver Broncos. Why aren't people talking about them as a legitimate Super Bowl contender? Philip Rivers is playing out of his mind and still gets no respect. Wake up America. These guys are for real.

Bad News for San Diego: You still get no respect from anyone because everyone still thinks the Broncos, Bengals, Patriots, Colts, and others are better than you. It's about time those people learned a little respect isn't it?


NY Jets Offensive MVP: Mark Sanchez. He's not on this team anymore so he's instantly a winner.

NY Jets Defensive MVP: Calvin Pace (6 tackles, 2 sacks)

San Diego Offensive MVP: Branden Oliver (19 carries, 114 rushing yards, 4 catches, 68 receiving yards, 2 TD's)

San Diego Defensive MVP: Jahleel Addae (6 tackles, 1 fumble recovery)

Up next for NY Jets: vs. Denver (3-1)

Up next for San Diego: vs. @ Oakland (0-4)

Kansas City - 17 (2-3) @ San Francisco - 22 (3-2)


Good News for Kansas City: Even though the Chiefs lost the football game, they are still playing much better football than they were in the first few weeks of the season. The offense is actually clicking and the defense is playing much better even though they've been hit hard by injuries. The Chiefs are not an easy win for anyone and they showed last Monday against New England and this Sunday in San Francisco that they can't be taken lightly.

Bad News for Kansas City: YOU STILL LOST TO TENNESSEE TITANS IN WEEK ONE! THAT IS UNFORGIVABLE!!!!

Good News for San Francisco: Speaking of teams that look better than they did in the first couple weeks of the season, I introduce you to San Francisco. The 49ers are another team that has been depleted by injuries and other things, yet they continue to win. People keep waiting for the 49ers collapse and it keeps getting delayed. Looks like we'll have to wait again next week.

Bad News for San Francisco: There are still rumors that suggest Jim Harbaugh has lost the team. Those rumors were once again ignited when Jay Glazer reported that Harbaugh could even win the Super Bowl this year for the 49ers and that wouldn't save his job. If that's true (Glazer is the second NFL person to report an issue between Harbaugh and the upper brass), you couldn't tell by watching them this week.


Kansas City Offensive MVP: Jamaal Charles (15 carries, 80 yards)

Kansas City Defensive MVP: James Michael-Johnson (11 tackles, 2 tackles for loss)

San Francisco Offensive MVP: Frank Gore (18 carries, 107 yards)

San Francisco Defensive MVP: Perrish Cox (3 tackles, 2 passes deflected, 1 interception)

Up next for Kansas City: BYE WEEK

Up next for San Francisco: vs. @ St. Louis (1-3)