NFL Round-Up: Week Two

Week Two of the NFL season is officially in the books and what a disturbing week it was. Any week where the Raiders beat my Super Bowl pick, the Jaguars win, the Bucs go on the road and whoop the Saints and a Chip Kelly team can't move the ball is definitely a weird week in the National Football League. There's no reason to beat around the bush with an introduction. When we have a week like this, we have to get to the goods immediately.

So.......

Sit back........

Grab a beer............

Put the kids outside...........

Tell the wife to leave you alone.........

IT'S TIME............................................

NFL Round-Up

Week 2

The Scoreboard

(A recap of all the action from the past week in the NFL....)

*Due to time restraints, the Monday Night Football games are not included in The Scoreboard


Denver Broncos (2-0): 31    Kansas City Chiefs (1-1): 24

Regardless of the outcome, this was an awesome football game. These two teams are pretty much mirror images of each other. They both have elite defenses. They both have QB's that have limitations (it's sad that we have to say that about Peyton now). They both can run the ball (well, at least we think Denver can....). And both are well-coached teams. The result was an excellent football game. The Chiefs haven't been able to beat the Broncos since Manning arrived in town and they were sooooo close to getting the job done this week. Unfortunately they shot themselves in the foot (5 turnovers definitely didn't do them any favors) and gave the game away. The Chiefs were the better team in my eyes (if you give the ball over 5 times and still almost win the game, you're the better team) and still have a shot to unseat the Broncos from the top of the AFC West, but that task just got a little more difficult. Like I said last week, Peyton Manning is no longer the Peyton Manning we used to know and love and the guy can no longer put the team on his back and win football games. Luckily for him, he has arguably the best defense in the league and some fantastic weapons on offense as well to help him out. Man, I can't wait for the rematch between these two....  

Houston Texans (0-2): 17   Carolina Panthers (2-0): 24

Everyone was selling their Carolina Panthers stock when Kelvin Benjamin went down with a torn ACL in the pre-season. Personally, I still felt like the Panthers were the best team in the NFC South and took them to win the division. Two games into the season, I'm still feeling good about the pick (even though the Atlanta Falcons are a shocking 2-0). Why you ask? Because of this......

When Cam Newton is in "Super Cam" mode, he has the ability to put the offense on his back and create some magic. While he was far from perfect this game, he was definitely feeling it. Just imagine what this kid would do if he had some actual decent wide receivers. I'm telling you, it would be magical. 

San Francisco 49ers (1-1): 18    Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1): 43

Talk about getting your heart ripped out. San Francisco 49ers fans were on a little bit of a high following an impressive win over the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football. After a miserable off-season that saw them lose almost half their roster, the 49ers fans were desperate for some good news and they got some when the team played extremely well to open the season. And now the honeymoon is over and 49ers fans were served a sudden dose of reality and that reality is, the 49ers aren't a very good football team. A decent football team and perhaps better than I thought they were going to be? Sure, why not? But the 49ers are far from a good football team and the Steelers reminded them of that. Speaking of Pittsburgh, it was good to see them come back to Earth. I gotta say, after that horrendous debut against New England, I was a little worried about them. I guess that was stupid, right? Who worries about a team that has Antonio Brown, Ben Roethlisberger, and DE'ANGELO FREAKING WILLIAMS on offense? No one should.   

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1): 26    New Orleans Saints (0-2): 19

Ladies and gentlemen, we take you to a live shot of New Orleans Saints fans:

Anyone know what's going on with New Orleans? Anyone? This Saints offense was supposed to go OFF this week. After all, Marcus Mariota and the Tennessee Titans boat raced the Tampa Bay Buccaneers last week. You would figure an offense that features the likes of Drew Brees, Brandin Cooks and Mark Ingram would all be set for huge weeks in the NFL this weekend, right? WRONG! Something is in the air in New Orleans and it's not good. Drew Brees and Brandin Cooks have both been extremely underwhelming this season and I don't think things are going to get any better. While it may be a little too soon to hit the panic button in the "Big Easy", I got that son of a bitch pressed at least halfway down. As for the Bucs, this was a big win for them. They needed a confidence boost after the ass whooping they received from the Titans and they got one this week. Plus, Jamies Winston looked extremely good in this game. Enjoy it while it's here Bucs fans. You may not get to many of these this season.

Detroit Lions (0-2): 16    Minnesota Vikings (1-1): 26

Meanwhile Lions fans. Here you go.....

Go ahead and press it. It's OK. We understand. I would press it as well because there is a lot that is wrong with this football team right now, especially on the defensive side of the ball. Who would have thought that losing Ndamukong Suh in free agency would have such a big impact on the Lions defense (everyone....that's who)? I don't know how Jim Caldwell plans to get this ship turned around, but he needs to do it quickly. Things aren't going to get any easier with the Broncos, Seahawks, and Cardinals all coming up on the Lions schedule. Don't be shocked if the Lions start out 0-5 and everyone in Detroit is calling for Caldwell's head.

Minnesota fans should be happy though. They got the taste of that horrible Monday Night Football game against the 49ers out of their mouths and appear to have gotten their ship turned around. Hey look at that. Maybe the Lions can just ask the Vikings for some pointers?

Arizona Cardinals (2-0): 48    Chicago Bears (0-2): 23

The Arizona Cardinals are a pretty good football team.

The Chicago Bears with Jay Cutler are a decent football team. Not a good one, but a decent one.

The Chicago Bears with Jimmy Clausen are an awful football team. Seriously. Just plain awful. I don't know why or how Jimmy Clausen still has a job in the NFL, but apparently there are NFL teams who love quarterbacks who have no field vision, no pocket presence, and can't throw the ball over the defensive line without it getting batted down (a sign that he's constantly staring down his receivers). I know NFL back-up quarterbacks are far from the best at their profession, but the Bears need an upgrade at the quarterback position in the worst way. Until then, they will be rotting in NFL hell. 

New England Patriots (2-0): 40    Buffalo Bills (1-1): 32

A lot of NFL experts were worried about what Tom Brady and the New England Patriots would be able to do against a Buffalo defense that shut down Andrew Luck and the Indianapolis Colts in week one. Brady and the Patriot's response?

Brady owns Buffalo. Everyone knows that. I hate to break it to you Rex Ryan, but you're in for a long run in Buffalo as long as "Touchdown Tom" is in town....

San Diego Chargers (1-1): 19    Cincinnati Bengals (2-0): 24

It shouldn't be a shocker that the Bengals won. They have the best player at every single position on their roster. If you don't believe them, just ask their fan base. They'll be quick to remind you. However, make sure you abort the conversation before they start bragging about all their recent playoff wins....

Tennessee Titans (1-1): 14    Cleveland Browns (1-1): 28

Marcus Mariota found out this week that life isn't always easy in the NFL. Last week, he played a horrendous Buccaneers defense that he shredded apart. This week, he faced the more difficult task of having to travel into Cleveland and face a defense that is extremely underrated. This Browns defense can be nasty when they want to be, and Mariota found that out the hard way. Marcus was sacked 7 times and fumbled the ball on four separate occasions. Oregon fans will remember how Mariota struggled with holding on to the ball when pressure was applied and unfortunately he hasn't fixed that part of his game yet in the pros. As for Johnny Football. What can I say? He actually looked good today, but I'm not sure if it was him that looked good or the fact that he had some guy named Travis Benjamin scoring touchdowns as if there was nothing to it. This game just depressed me.    

Atlanta Falcons (2-0): 24    New York Giants (0-2): 20

Ladies and gentlemen....the Atlanta Falcons are 2-0 and now have an over 60% chance of making the playoffs:

Meanwhile, the New York Giants are 0-2 and Tom Coughlin is now faced with the very real possibility that this is his last season in the "Big Apple":

St. Louis Rams (1-1): 10    Washington Redskins (1-1): 24

I'm trying to care, but it's just not working. The Rams are what they've always been under Jeff Fisher. Impressive one week, disappointing the next. There's no consistency there. As for the Redskins, this was a big win for them as the NFC East just became wide open with the injury to Tony Romo and the Eagles and Giants sitting at an ugly 0-2 on the season. Can they keep it going though? Stay tuned....

Miami Dolphins (1-1): 20    Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1): 23

Jags over the Dolphins?

Baltimore Ravens (0-2): 33    Oakland Raiders (1-1): 37

Raiders over Ravens?

Sometimes, I don't even know what to say anymore. I guess I would like to apologize for jinxing the Baltimore Ravens by picking them to win the Super Bowl (even though the last time I picked them to win the Super Bowl, they actually did). Get your heads outta your asses guys. There's still a lot of football left and there's still plenty of time for you to turn it around. The question is, can they? This defense just isn't the same without Terrell Suggs, so I have my doubts. Huge win for Raider Nation though. They needed it after last week's abysmal showing and they got exactly what the doctor ordered. 

Dallas Cowboys (2-0): 20    Philadelphia Eagles (0-2): 10

What a horrible game. This thing started ugly and unfortunately for Cowboys fans, it got even uglier when Tony Romo went down with an injury. The current report is that Romo won't need surgery and will likely miss up to the next 8 weeks. I can not tell you how bad this is for Dallas fans right now. If you guys still had DeMarco Murray on your team and a healthy Dez Bryant available, I wouldn't be as worried as much. Well, Murray's currently rotting away in Philadelphia and Bryant is hurt as well. That means it's up to Brandon Weeden to lead the Cowboys over the course of the next 7-8 games. Let me say that again in case you weren't clear about what I just said.....

That means it's up to Brandon Weeden to lead the Cowboys over the course of the next 7-8 games.

Yikes.

Speaking of things that make you go "yikes". Philly's offense? Remember back in the pre-season when Chip's offense was looking fantastic and Chip was all.....

I know I shouldn't have to constantly remind people to not over-react to stuff they see in the pre-season (they don't play defense in the pre-season and the guys that do...don't do it very well), but it constantly happens. I think Chip and his boys are getting a reminder of just that. I don't know what's going on in Philadelphia, but they need to get this fixed immediately before it gets any worse. Man, how good would Marcus Mariota look in a Philly jersey right now? ::insert smiley face emoji::

Seattle Seahawks (0-2): 17    Green Bay Packers (2-0): 27

The Seahawks are 0-2 and obviously suck (kidding, Seahawks fans....) and the Packers are 2-0 and are obviously the team to beat in the NFC. Aaron Rodgers can pretty much do anything he wants right now.....

Except that. That's just disturbing. Stop it Aaron.

Monday Night Football Scores:

New York Jets (2-0): 20    Indianapolis Colts (0-2): 7

Fantasy Football Top Performers

(Fantasy football is huge these days. Here are the best fantasy football players from this week)

*Stats are from Yahoo and don't include Monday Night Football teams

Quarterbacks:

1. Ben Roethlisberger (30.66 points)

2. Tyrod Taylor (28.98 points)

3. Cam Newton (28.40 points)

4. Tom Brady (28.24 points)

5. Derek Carr (27.34 points)

Running Backs:

1. DeAngelo Williams (27.20 points)

2. Matt Jones (24.60 points)

3. Dion Lewis (17.80 points)

4. Adrian Peterson (17.20 points)

5. David Johnson (16.50 points)

Wide Receivers:

1. Travis Benjamin (29.50 points)

2. Larry Fitzgerald (29.20 points)

3. Antonio Brown (27.50 points)

4. Allen Robinson (27.50 points)

5. Julian Edelman (22.90 points)

6. Emmanuel Sanders (20.70 points)

7. Odell Beckham Jr. (20.60 points)

8. Torrey Smith (20.00 points)

9. Michael Crabtree (17.10 points)

10. Amari Cooper (16.90 points)

Tight Ends:

1. Crockett Gillmore (20.80 points)

2. Rob Gronkowski (17.30 points)

3. Anthony Fasano (14.40 points)

4. Tyler Eifert (10.90 points)

5. Richard Rodgers (10.30 points)
5. Eric Ebron (10.30 points)

Kickers:

1. Stephen Gostkowski (19.00 points)

2. Kyle Brindza (16.00 points)

2. Mason Crosby (16.00 points)

4. Sebastian Janikowski (15.00 points)

4. Justin Tucker (15.00 points)

Defense:

1. Denver Broncos (21.00 points)

2. Cleveland Browns (20.00 points)

3. Dallas Cowboys (19.00 points)

4. Arizona Cardinals (18.00 points)

5. New England Patriots/Tampa Bay Buccaneers (13.00 points)

NFL Power Rankings

(Pretty self explanatory here...)

1. New England Patriots (2-0)

2. Green Bay Packers (2-0)
3. Denver Broncos (2-0)

4. Cincinnati Bengals (2-0)

5. Dallas Cowboys (2-0)

6. Arizona Cardinals (2-0)
7. New York Jets (2-0)

8. Carolina Panthers (2-0)
9. Atlanta Falcons (2-0)

10. Kansas City Chiefs (1-1)
11. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1)
12. Buffalo Bills (1-1)
13. San Diego Chargers (1-1)
14. Washington Redskins (1-1)
15. St. Louis Rams (1-1)
16. Minnesota Vikings (1-1)
17. Miami Dolphins (1-1)
18. Cleveland Browns (1-1)
19. Tennessee Titans (1-1)
20. San Francisco 49ers (1-1)
21. Oakland Raiders (1-1)
22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1)

23. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1)

24. Seattle Seahawks (0-2)
25. Baltimore Ravens (0-2)
26. Houston Texans (0-2)
27. New York Giants (0-2)
28. Indianapolis Colts (0-1)
29. Detroit Lions (0-2)
30. Philadelphia Eagles (0-2)
31. Chicago Bears (0-2)
32. New Orleans Saints (0-2)