Five NFL Trades That Need To Happen Today!

The NFL trade deadline is quickly approaching. That means it's time for NFL teams to get their asses in gear and start making some trades. If they need some help, they came to the right place. I decided to go ahead and give these NFL owners and general managers FIVE TRADES THAT NEED TO HAPPEN TODAY!!!!!!


*This column was mainly written for entertainment purposes only. Therefore, stuff like "salary cap" and what the other team would trade for haven't been considered

1. Colin Kaepernick to the Philadelphia Eagles

The San Francisco 49ers are a dumpster fire right now and they aren't going to improve anytime soon. It's time for them to call it a day. The re-build of the San Francisco 49ers actually started this last off-season, and now the 49ers need to go all-out with it and send everyone packing. You see that Jared Goff kid at the University of Cal? He would look mighty good in a San Francisco 49ers jersey. So where does that leave Colin Kaepernick? Send his ass to the Philadelphia Eagles and let Chip Kelly have some fun. Sam Bradford sucks and we've been reminded of that the last few weeks. Kaepernick was kind of good at one time and it's time to see if he can return to that form with a change of scenery. Chip Kelly and Colin Kaepernick is a match made in heaven.

2. DeMarco Murray to the Dallas Cowboys  

Speaking of the Philadelphia Eagles, will you guys do us all a favor and send DeMarco Murray back to the Dallas Cowboys? It's obvious that you have no clue what to do with the guy. Do us a favor and send Murray back to the Cowboys and give me a reason to use the guy in Fan Duel. As of right now, he's rotting on Philly's bench (he has 29 carries for 47 yards with 1 TD) and that's a damn shame considering the guy was lighting up the league last year at this point.

3. Calvin Johnson to the Carolina Panthers

The Detroit Lions are awful and have a legit chance at going 0-16 (OK, maybe not...but I love over-reacting like most NFL fans). They also have a decent roster that should start to get pillaged by other NFL teams with a realistic chance at making the playoffs. One of those teams is the Carolina Panthers. The Panthers lost Kelvin Benjamin in the pre-season with a torn ACL and still lack a true #1 WR to replace him. Send "Megatron" over to the undefeated Panthers and watch Cam Newton's smile get so big that it actually rips his face. Where's that gif?

4. J.J. Watt to the Cincinnati Bengals

The Cincinnati Bengals are the top ranked offense right now in the NFL and there's no question there's a lot of talent on that side of the ball. The Bengals still lack a true elite defense though (currently ranked 20th in the NFL) and if they plan on making a Super Bowl run, they definitely need to shore up things on that side of the ball. So, what's the quickest way to get some improvement on the defensive side of the ball? BY PICKING UP THE BEST DEFENSIVE PLAYER IN THE LEAGUE! The Houston Texans are garbage and J.J. Watt's talent is being wasted. If you moved him over to a team like the Bengals, you could probably move a Super Bowl trophy into Cincinnati as well.

5. Julio Jones to the New England Patriots

Just to piss everyone off, let's go ahead and give Tom Brady the guy who is currently arguably the best wide receiver in the NFL at THIS moment...