Most Tortured Sports Fans
Chicago Cubs
This one is pretty easy. Everyone knows how miserable the Cubs have been since winning their last World Series title in 1908. That's 107 years for those of you who can't count. As a sports fan of teams that aren't historically very good, the Cubs are the definition of frightening. One of the only things getting me through life as a fan of the teams that I like is the thought process that "my team HAS to win at some point in my life...right?" Not if you are a Cubs fan and frankly that scares the crap out of me. Can we just give the Cubbies a title already? I mean. I'm not the kind of person who feels sorry for people, but I'm giving Cubs fans some real sympathy here. It's just not fair.
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Cincinnati Bengals
Sure, the Bengals are undefeated and enjoying some success right now. However, Cincinnati fans aren't exactly used to that feeling over the years. Why? Well, the Bengals currently have the longest active drought in the NFL without a playoff victory. Cincinnati's last playoff victory came in 1990 and there's been no post-season love in the town since. In some instances, you can look at a franchise and kind of see why they are a miserable craphole. In Cincy's case, it's kind of confusing. Ever since Marvin Lewis came into town, the Bengals have been one of the best regular season teams in the NFL, but then the post-season comes and the team shits the bed. It's almost become comical to watch. If the Bengals don't break the curse this year, than they are doomed for eternity. Cincinnati currently displays arguably the best roster from top-to-bottom in the NFL and they are playing out of their minds this season. If it doesn't happen now....then when?
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Detroit Lions
Not far behind (or ahead?) of the Cincinnati Bengals in the NFL's pecking order of miserable franchises lies the Detroit Lions. The Lions are right behind Cincinnati in terms of post-season sadness. Detroit's last post-season win came in 1991 and the franchise has been miserable since. Want some examples? One of their best players in franchise history (Barry Sanders) decided to walk away from the game before his time was up. The Lions are one of the only teams in NFL history to finish the season winless. They have yet to find a competent head coach who can build this thing up and last more than four seasons ever since Wayne Fontes left town in 1996. And if things couldn't get any worse, the Lions have once again started out horrible with a 1-6 record this year and just fired half of their coaching staff this week. Jim Caldwell is definitely on the hot seat right now and franchise quarterback Matthew Stafford has regressed in a horrifying way. Can these guys catch a break already?
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Portland Trail Blazers
Perhaps the most tortured fan base in sports is my beloved Portland Trail Blazers. The Blazers have had it rough ever since winning the NBA title in 1977. Since then, it's been a hell ride. Do I even need to mention Portland's horrible draft picks? Sam Bowie over Michael Jordan. Greg Oden over Kevin Durant. Trading out of the third spot in the 2005 draft where they could have gotten Chris Paul and instead drafting.....Martell Webster? Of course there has been some good with this Blazers franchise over the years. There was the REALLY good Blazer teams of the early 90's....that couldn't beat Michael Jordan (or the Detroit Pistons). There was the REALLY good "Jail Blazers" teams of the early 2000's that was MINUTES away from taking out the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals...only to have the worst collapse ever in NBA playoff history. There were the really good draft night selections/trades that ended up getting the Blazers two franchise players in Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge....one who ended up retired after 5 years and the other who just bolted town for greener pastures. Do you get my point yet? The Blazers fans have had it rough. The sports gods really need to cut these guys a break.
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Seattle Supersonics
Of course the Sonics fans are on here. THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A TEAM TO ROOT FOR ANYMORE! That, and the one they did have to root for also happens to be one of the best in the NBA! How did you mess this up again Seattle?
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All Cleveland Sports Teams
Poor Cleveland. You want to know what life is like as a sports fan in the city of Cleveland? Well, they currently have 3 major sports teams to support....and their last championship from any of those teams came in 1964. That's a 156-season drought in case you aren't counting! That is just ridiculous. You would think that over time at least ONE of the Cleveland franchises would have been good enough to win a title, but that hasn't been the case. The Cavs have been extremely close since LeBron James arrived in town and they have a legit shot to end Cleveland's curse this year. The Indians have had a few good seasons and been close a couple of times as well, but close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades. The Browns are.....well, they are something. I'd like to take this time to personally apologize to the town of Cleveland. The sports gods haven't been nice to you guys, while other towns like Boston have won multiple titles in different sports. It's just not fair.
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Jacksonville Jaguars
When the Jacksonville Jaguars first entered the NFL as an expansion team in 1995, they had almost immediate success. After just their second season of NFL action, the Jaguars made the playoffs and even made the AFC Conference game where they ultimately lost to the New England Patriots. As a matter of fact, after their horrific inaugural season, Jacksonville experienced a nice little run under head coach Tom Coughlin where they went 9-7, 11-5, 11-5, and 14-2. Not bad for an expansion team, right? Unfortunately for Jaguars fans, that was the best run the team has had since it's inception. Since that 14-2 season in 1999, the Jaguars have only had three winning seasons. That's not good for a franchise that looked like it could blossom into one of the NFL's best when they first arrived. Now they've turned into a giant joke with absolutely no future. Oops.
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Minnesota Timberwolves
The Minnesota Timberwolves haven't made the playoffs since 2004. They currently own the longest streak in the NBA of not reaching the playoffs, which is going on 11 years and counting now. I know it's not true (I'm too lazy to actually check right now), but it seems like the only Timberwolves draft pick that ever actually panned out to be an NBA superstar was Kevin Garnett. Everyone else that was good was either traded (Ray Allen, Brandon Roy) or bolted town the first chance they got before ever leaving a legacy (Kevin Love). Minnesota's best season since making the playoffs in 2004, was a 44-38 season the next year that saw them miss the playoffs and they haven't been back since. Luckily for Timberwolves fans, the team is actually starting to look respectable again. With two #1 draft picks in Andrew Wiggins and Karl Anthony-Towns ready to take the town by storm, Minnesota SHOULD break their playoff drought soon. That is, unless Wiggins and Towns get traded first....
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Buffalo Bills
Life is rough when you are a Buffalo Bills fan. First of all, everyone knows about the Bills' Super Bowl woes. The Bills made 4 straight Super Bowl appearances from 1990-93 and lost every single one of them. That's just insane. You would think that after four straight appearances in the same game, they would get lucky at least once....but that just wasn't the case. Unfortunately for Buffalo fans, those four straight Super Bowl trips are the height of their success in the NFL. Since then, it's been all downhill. As a matter of fact, the Bills currently own the longest streak in the NFL without making an appearance in the playoffs. No, I'm not talking about playoff WINS. I'm talking about just making an appearance in the post-season! It's been 15 seasons and counting since Buffalo played any kind of meaningful post-season football and the trust me when I say, you don't have to mention that to Bills fans. They are more than aware.
And that's that. If I forgot your favorite sports team, that's unfortunate. They apparently suck even more than the teams I listed on here and you should probably just look for a new team to support.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!
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