Thursday, October 29
Miami at New England (-8): We said that Dolphins fans were really happy watching their rebooted team in Week 6. They were even happier during Week 7.
Yup, Dolphins fans are believing. Dan Campbell is Don Shula. Ryan Tannehill is Dan Marino. Lamar Miller is...well, the Dolphins didn't have running backs when Marino was there, so he's like the best thing ever. The Fins are 2-0 with Campbell and are riding high...but...they're going to New England to play the Patriots.
Victory probably isn't going to happen because the Patriots are never going to lose again as long as they're an NFL franchise. Eventually, Kommissar Goodell will find a way to disband the New England Patriots so they can no longer dominate the league, but until then they're going to win a lot of games. They're not really blowing out teams though. Indy & the Jets both fell by a single possession, and I think the hot Dolphins do the same on Thursday night.
Sunday, November 1
Detroit vs. Kansas City (-5.5): Another Sunday morning London game. This one featuring a team that fired half its coaching staff this week and a team that sometimes shows up when they feel like it. I know the NFL wants to be a thing in England, and Roger Goodell's dream is to put a team in London so he can drink tea & eat crumpets in his new league office there. Perhaps sending all these lackluster games there is how the NFL is figuring out if London deserves a team. Sometimes you gotta sit through some things to get what you want, and nobody knows that more than the British:
Stiff upper lip, mates. Stiff upper lip. I like the Chiefs in this one, they're not quite as big of a mess as Detroit is at this point.
Minnesota (-1.5) at Chicago: We might be high on the Vikings here on the UFB, but obviously Vegas does not share our sentiments. Only a point amd a half against one of the worst teams in the league? Yeah we'll take it.
Teddy is not impressed with your lack of respect.
Tampa Bay at Atlanta (-7): The Falcons barely beat the Titans last week, but I'm not worried about it. Atlanta plays better at home than on the road. That explains the problems in New Orleans, that explains the narrow win in Tennessee. Y'all might be worried about Matt Ryan and company, but I'm not. Tampa Bay is not a good football team, don't get over-excited because they almost won in Washington D.C. against a team that is also not good.
NY Giants at New Orleans (-3): Don't look now, but the Saints are starting to resemble a pretty good football team. They aren't the Saints that they were when they won a Super Bowl & Drew Brees was re-writing the NFL record book, but they're a dangerous team. Especially inside a dome. Lucas Oil Stadium worked pretty well for them last week, and being back home in New Orleans should make this an easy cover for the Saints. The Giants should be able to keep up for a little bit, but their defense will give up way too many points.
San Francisco at St. Louis (-8.5): The 49ers are an unspeakably awful team. The only thing that causes me to question the line here is the fact that a few weeks ago I wasn't convinced that the Rams could consistently score over eight points a game. Now that Todd Gurley is here and doing his thing, feel free to take the Rams.
Arizona (-4.5) at Cleveland: I was going to make an argument for taking the Browns here, but then I read an article saying that Johnny Manziel might be starting this week. Johnny Manziel vs. the Arizona Cardinal Defense?
Yeah, I gotta ride with the Cardinals on this one. I know Jeremy Lambert wants Johnny Football to happen, just like he wants Steve Smith back with the Panthers, but these things are not going to happen. Let it go, man. Let it go.
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh: You're probably expecting me to write a lot about this game. I'm not going to. I don't want to talk about it, I'm not even sure I want to watch it. I will, but I'm not looking forward to it. Big Ben is coming back. The Steelers' offense will be back at full force. They'll be PISSED OFF after losing to the Chiefs. The game's in Pittsburgh. The Bengals are coming off a bye & they don't do well after byes. The Steelers are going to win and the Bengals are no longer going to be undefeated. I don't want to talk about it.
San Diego at Baltimore (-3): This game features two teams that we thought would be a lot better than they actually are at this point in the season. The Ravens have at least been close in their losses, and the Chargers have at least been close (or at least made comebacks to make things look close) in their losses. I won't declare either of these teams dead just yet, but they're in pretty bad shape right now. The Ravens have to win this game to have any chance of doing anything in their division, and I think this is the week they get it done.
How many weeks have I written a variation of that now?
Tennessee at Houston (-4): Two AFC South teams?
Texans? Sure, why not take the home team.
NY Jets (-2.5) at Oakland: The Jets & Raiders are two previously proud franchises that have been laughingstocks for quite some time now, but both teams seem to be getting back on the right track. There are still some hiccups. Brandon Marshall seems to do one ridiculously dumb thing per game for the Jets. Raiders owner Mark Davis has a bowl cut. But these things don't get in the way of the fact that Jets & Raiders stock are at a good place to buy right now. Whose stock do you want this week? Take the Jets. The Raiders are a good young team but the Jets have more talent and are tougher on defense. Defense always travels well.
Seattle (-6) at Dallas: As a Bengals fan, I've had to root for some of the biggest pieces of garbage in the National Football League. Pacman Jones coming on board was a bitter pill to swallow. Chris Henry, Odell Thurman, Cedric Benson, AJ Nicholson...the list goes on and on. And there was also the time we had James Harrison for a season. (Mind you, Harrison wasn't arrested for anything while in Cincinnati. He's just a piece of garbage.) With that all being said, I can't imagine what it must be like being a Dallas Cowboys fan and trying to rationalize the behavior of Greg Hardy. Or what it's like to be a Dallas Cowboys fan and having your clown of an owner constantly making excuses for Greg Hardy while throwing the rest of your players & your coaching staff under the bus. That dude is not a good guy and his tenure in Dallas is going to end badly. Hopefully whatever happens just affects him & nobody else.
You know what else is going to end badly? Installing Matt Cassel as your QB1. Saying he's a step up from Brandon Weeden is like saying that shoveling dog excrement is better than shoveling horse excrement. You're still dealing with excrement either way. The Seahawks are moving upward like we figured they would this time of year, and the Cowboys are waiting for their actual players to come back. Fortunately for them it won't be too late because it's not like other NFC East teams are doing anything.
Green Bay (-3) at Denver: Two undefeated teams. More importantly: Aaron Rodgers vs. Peyton Manning. Two of the greatest quarterbacks in the history of the National Football League. Peyton re-shaped what a quarterback could & should be during the 2000s, and now Aaron is doing the same in the 2010s. Sounds like a 49-42 kinda game, right?
See, the thing is that Denver has a pretty great defense. Like ridiculously great. Look up any kind of stats you want and they're right at the top. Nobody's getting anything done against these guys. Which is great, because Peyton Manning & the offense aren't getting anything done. The running backs aren't doing anything, the wide receivers aren't catching anything, the quarterback isn't throwing anything, the linemen aren't blocking anything...it's been a rough time. But still, they're 6-0 because the defense manages to hold the other team to few enough points. That's bound to stop happening at some point.
And if any offense can break through Denver's defense, it has to be Aaron Rodgers & the Packers, right? Right? Maybe? I mean...you'd think so. Both teams are coming off a bye so they're both fully rested and ready to go. It seems crazy to me to pick against the Broncos when they're underdogs in their place, so I will take them and the points.
Monday, November 2
Indianapolis at Carolina (-7): The Colts are 3-4 and in first place in the AFC South. After this week they will be 3-5 and hold the tie-breaker for first place due to their 3-0 divisional record. Will the Colts win a game outside of their division? Week 11 against the Buccaneers seems like the best possible time for that. At that point I expect them to be 3-7 after dropping games to the Panthers, Broncos and Falcons. Yikes. I currently have them winning 7 games, and that should be enough to win the AFC South by a healthy margin.
Carolina knows something about winning divisions with seven wins, and they're going to get their seventh win of this season this week. I do think the Colts keep it close until the end, but Killa Cam will come through at the end of the day. I would mention how people seem to hate Cam Newton for some reason while Andrew Luck seems to get credit from everybody, but this probably isn't the proper arena to go into that type of discussion.
Last Week: 10-4
2015 Season: 57-44-3
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