NFL Round-Up: Week Ten

It's "PRO WRESTLING WEEK" in the NFL Round-Up this week. Why? You'll find out if you keep reading......

So.......

Sit back........

Grab a beer............

Put the kids outside...........

Tell the wife to leave you alone.........

IT'S TIME............................................

NFL Round-Up

Week 10

The Scoreboard

(A recap of all the action from the past week in the NFL....)

*Due to time restraints, the Monday Night Football games are not included in The Scoreboard


Buffalo Bills (5-4): 22    New York Jets (5-4): 17

This game was a big one for one reason and one reason only.

IK Enemkpali's big return to the New York Jets!

OK. You got me.

This game was huge because it was Rex Ryan's return to the HOUSE THAT REX BUILT! As everyone knows, Sexy Rexy used to be the coach of the New York Jets until the Jets released him last off-season. Rex then took his talents across the state to Buffalo where he inherited a team that was shockingly similar to his old team (good defense, bad QB play). Do you think this was a big game for Rex and the Bills? Did you not see him jumping up and down like a maniacal lunatic shouting "FUCK YEAH" after the Bills clinched the victory over the Jets? Something tells me that this is going to be a fun feud to watch over the next few seasons. I'm all for feuds in the NFL by the way. Maybe that's because I used to be a huge wrestling fan? That's why this week, we are going to see if I can use a pro wrestling gif/meme for every game this week. 

Thank you for inspiring this idea Rex. You're one of a kind. 

Detroit Lions (2-7): 18     Green Bay Packers (6-3): 16

Every week in the NFL, there is an outcome that leaves everyone absolutely perplexed. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Detroit Lions defeating the Green Bay Packers AT Lambeau Field! If we have anybody still playing survival football anywhere, I'm guessing they are not having a whole lot of fun this weekend. I mean, c'mon Packers. I'm going to go ahead and sell all of my Green Bay stock at a cheap rate this week. I'm ashamed of these guys.
  

Just so you get a feel for what it's like to be a Packers fan this week.....

Dallas Cowboys (2-7): 6     Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-5): 10

The Cowboys are an absolute dumpster fire without Tony Romo and can pretty much officially kiss their playoff chances goodbye. They might as well just let Romo sit out the rest of the season and try to get the best draft pick they can get. There's a silver lining to going 2-14 on a season. That usually means you get a REALLY good player to go on your team that is REALLY good when your REALLY good QB is healthy. You get my point yet? Look at the Buccaneers for example. They've stunk up the NFL the last couple of seasons and now it appears as though they have a pretty good young team. They aren't "world beaters" by any stretch of the imagination, but you aren't going to see Tampa Bay on your schedule anymore and just assume it's going to be a victory. Things are good in Tampa Bay right now.

Carolina Panthers (9-0): 27      Tennessee Titans (2-7): 10

The Carolina Panthers look like the best team in the NFC by a mile. If these guys don't make it into the Super Bowl this year, something went incredibly wrong and someone deserves to be fired. They have everything it takes to be a Super Bowl contender and by coming out and taking care of business against the best quarterback in the NFL (Marcus Mariota), they've once again proven that it's their world....we are just living in it. Who's going to beat the Panthers in the NFC?

The Packers? The Cardinals? The Seachickens? The Vikings?

Chicago Bears (4-5): 37    St. Louis Rams (4-5): 13

Oh, you care about the Chicago Bears and the St. Louis Rams?

New Orleans Saints (4-6): 14    Washington Redskins (3-5): 47

You want a tip on winning some money? Play FanDuel or DraftKings next weekend. When you are making your line-up and you get to "QB"....put whichever QB is playing the New Orleans Saints in. Trust me. I don't care if it's Alex Smith, Tim Tebow, Sam Bradford, or even Josh McCown. Whoever you pick is, I guarantee they are going to go off because the Saints defense is trash. These guys can't cover anyone in the NFL and I honestly don't know how Rob Ryan still has a job in the NFL (BREAKING NEWS: Rob Ryan was just fired on Monday night). Someone seriously tell me why that man is still a defensive coordinator when he's allowing Kirk "MUTHA FUCKING" Cousins to throw for 4 TD's! I was so confident in Kirk Cousins tearing up the Saints secondary this week, that in my cash fantasy league, I had to pick him up because my 2 QB's (Andrew Luck and Philip Rivers) were on a bye this week. I decided to pick up Cousins during a week that I was playing a guy who was 9-0 heading into this week. Something tells me Kirk Cousins just made me look like a freaking genius to that guy.....

Miami Dolphins (4-5): 20    Philadelphia Eagles (4-5): 19

This was a fun little game (unless you're an Eagles fan of course), but why talk about that....when we can talk about THIS?

Dear lord. 

Cleveland Browns (2-8): 9    Pittsburgh Steelers (6-4): 30

Things almost got really bad for the Steelers. When third-string QB Landry Jones went down with an injury and an injured "Big Ben" Roethlisberger was asked to step in, things started to look bleak. Then ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter tweeted that Steelers TE HEATH MILLER was now the official back-up QB for Pittsburgh and people everywhere were actually praying that it would be go worse for the Steelers because one of the most entertaining things in the NFL is when players play out of position....especially at the QB spot. 

Unfortunately that didn't happen. Roethlisberger came in and even with a bum foot, threw 3 TD passes and looked better than most QB's do with two good feet. You hear me Johnny Football?

Jacksonville Jaguars (3-6): 22    Baltimore Ravens (2-7): 20

What the hell Baltimore? Back in the summer when I was ranking every single NFL team's roster, it was apparent to me that the Baltimore Ravens had a really good football team from top-to-bottom. I thought they were so good, that I decided to make them my Super Bowl pick for the year. Hell, they were THAT close to making it to the AFC title game just last season, so why not? Something has happened to this team though. I know losing Terrell Suggs for the year is bad, but losing to the Jacksonville Jaguars and staring down the possibility of finishing the season as one of the worst teams in the NFL, bad? That's just insane. I don't know what's going on with the Ravens, but they might as well call it a day now. It's a wrap on the season. These guys are done.

For a recap of the 2015-16 Baltimore Ravens season. Here is The USB correspondent "Nature Boy" Ric Flair.....

Minnesota Vikings (7-2): 30    Oakland Raiders (4-5): 14 

The Minnesota Vikings everyone. All they do is continue to win. Go ahead and keep doubting them. We aren't doing that here. Nope. Over here. We are going BESERK over the Vikings.....

New England Patriots (9-0): 27     New York Giants (5-5): 26

Years ago, these two teams met in the Super Bowl. The Patriots were undefeated and the Giants were huge underdogs. What transpired during that game resulted in one of the best Super Bowls that I've ever seen. The undefeated Patriots were dethroned by the New York Giants and history was made. Well, those who don't know history are bound to repeat it, right? The New England Patriots know history and believe you me, they were scared of the Giants once again cruising in and crushing their perfect season. Unfortunately for the Giants, Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are on a different page than the rest of the NFL this season. Some would even go as far as to say the play of the 2015 New England Patriots up to this point has been....absolutely......perfect.

Kansas City Chiefs (4-5): 29    Denver Broncos (7-2): 13

Four years ago when Peyton Manning was a free agent and was choosing which NFL team he was going to play on for the remainder of his career, he broke the hearts of Kansas City Chiefs fans everywhere when he didn't even look their way and actually ended up choosing the Chiefs division rival....the Denver Broncos. Since then, Peyton and the Broncos have been pretty much unstoppable. Kansas City was constantly Peyton and Denver's bitch twice-a-year and the reminder that Peyton could have been a Chief made it that much worse.

NOT ANYMORE!!!!!

As a Chiefs fan. This game was one of the best I've ever seen. Earlier this season when the Chiefs played the Broncos, it was evident that the Chiefs were the better team, but the 5 turnovers ended up costing them the game. This time it was REALLY evident that the Chiefs were the better team and don't look now NFL, but Kansas City is riding a 3-game win streak and are only one game out of a playoff spot. 

Now, about that Peyton Manning thing. We touched on this a few weeks back and now it's even more clear. The guy is done. Stick a fork in him and the Broncos. The weather is getting worse and there's no way a 58-year old Peyton who's throwing up wounded ducks is going to beat a Patriots team in January. 

It's time to put this dog to rest....

Arizona Cardinals (7-2): 39     Seattle Seahawks (4-5): 32

Don't look now, but we have a new king in the NFC West and it's the Arizona Cardinals. Bow down Seattle.

Monday Night Football Scores:

Houston Texans (4-5): 10    Cincinnati Bengals (8-1): 6

Fantasy Football Top Performers

(Fantasy football is huge these days. Here are the best fantasy football players from this week)

*Stats are from Yahoo and don't include Monday Night Football teams

Quarterbacks:

1. Kirk Cousins

2. Ben Roethlisberger

3. Jay Cutler

4. Joe Flacco

5. Aaron Rodgers

Running Backs:

1. Jeremy Langford

2. Charcandrick West

3. Adrian Peterson

4. Matt Jones

5. LeSean McCoy

Wide Receivers:

1. Antonio Brown 

2. Michael Floyd

3. Brandin Cooks

4. Martavis Bryant

5. Doug Baldwin

6. Odell Beckham Jr.

7. Eric Decker

8. Dwayne Harris

9. Larry Fitzgerald

10. Mike Evans

Tight Ends:

1. Zach Miller

2. Rob Gronkowski

3. Jordan Reed

4. Brent Celek

5. Gary Barnidge

Kickers:

1. Cairo Santos

2. Dustin Hopkins

3. Josh Brown

4. Chandler Catanzaro

5. Jason Myers
5. Robbie Gould

Defense:

1. Kansas City Chiefs

2. Pittsburgh Steelers

2. Buffalo Bills

4. Washington Redskins

4. Minnesota Vikings

NFL Power Rankings

(Pretty self explanatory here...)

1. New England Patriots (9-0)
2. Carolina Panthers (9-0)
3. Cincinnati Bengals (8-1)

4. Arizona Cardinals (7-2)
5. Minnesota Vikings (7-2)
6. Denver Broncos (7-2)
7. Green Bay Packers (6-3)
8. Atlanta Falcons (6-3)
9. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-4)
10. Buffalo Bills (5-4)
11. New York Jets (5-4)
12. New York Giants (5-5)
13. Kansas City Chiefs (4-5)
14. Indianapolis Colts (4-5)
15. Miami Dolphins (4-5)
16. Seattle Seahawks (4-5)
17. Philadelphia Eagles (4-5)
18. Oakland Raiders (4-5)
19. Houston Texans (4-5)
20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-5)
21. Washington Redskins (4-5)
22. Chicago Bears (4-5)
23. St. Louis Rams (4-5)

24. New Orleans Saints (4-6)
25. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-6)
26. San Francisco 49ers (3-6)
27. Detroit Lions (2-7)
28. Dallas Cowboys (2-7)
29. Baltimore Ravens (2-7)
30. Tennessee Titans (2-7)
31. San Diego Chargers (2-7)
32. Cleveland Browns (2-8)