Thursday, November 26
Philadelphia at Detroit: We got two teams heading in different directions to kick off our Thanksgiving football day. The Eagles are heading so far downhill that my colleagues assume that Chip Kelly's going to be coaching the Titans next year. I'm not sure about all that, but it's definitely not looking good for Chippy. Whatever he tried to build here isn't working. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers look like they're heading in the right direction and might be contending in the future (hell, as bad as the NFC is, they're contending for a wild card slot this season), but when they're blowing you out in your stadium...it's not a good look. Not a good look.
Meanwhile, the Lions have won two straight by narrow margins against the Packers & Raiders. I'm not really sure how it's happening, other than Matt Stafford & Calvin Johnson remembering who they are, and the lack of a general manager apparently being a good thing. Hey, the Bengals go to the playoffs every year and we don't have a GM. I'm just saying.
The one positive thing going for the Eagles here is that they didn't try really hard on Sunday so they should be ready to go for this one. Other than that, it's looking like a Lions win.
Carolina at Dallas: Panthers are 10-0. Cowboys are 3-7. Vegas is listing this as a pick em. Why? Pretty simple when you think about it:
-We still think the Panthers are frauds. We remember how bad the NFC South was last year, and we're waiting for Carolina to show us the team that they really are. They can't be this good, right? They're Carolina! They're Cam Newton and a bunch of guys! We can't name anybody on the team besides Cam Newton! And we don't like him because he dances, even though we love it when dorky white guys try to dance on the sidelines even though they had nothing to do with the play.
-We always think the Cowboys are a lot better than they actually are. They're America's Team. They were really good in the early 1990s when I started watching & appreciating football. To me, and my peers, the Cowboys are a symbol of excellence because other than the 21st century New England Patriots they were the best team we've ever seen. They probably had the most talent. So much like older fans give teams like the Raiders & Dolphins credit whether they deserve it or not, we give the Cowboys credit.
The thing is, one of these teams is really good and the other might possibly fall bass ackwards into the playoffs if things fall into place in their crappy division. I prefer to go with the sure thing, which is why if you're giving me a pick em I'm going to take the undefeated Panthers.
Chicago at Green Bay (-9): OK, after two pick em games this is nice to see. Da Bears have been on a bit of a run lately, but you & I know that the Packers are R-E-L-A-X-E-D. They got right Sunday in Minnesota. No reason to think they have problems here.
Sunday, November 29
New Orleans at Houston (-3): Rob Ryan has been let go by the Saints because they realized his defensive coordinating was not very good. I would be sad since I won't get to use this gif anymore...
But we all know that he'll get hired somewhere next year. Once you get into the NFL coaching fraternity it's really tough to get kicked out. Did you know that Brad Childress is a senior offensive assistant for the Kansas City Chiefs? Leslie Frazier is the defensive coordinator for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Rob Chudzinski is the offensive coordinator for the Indianapolis Colts. Rod Marinelli, the guy that once coached an 0-16 team, is the defensive coordinator for the Dallas Cowboys. Once you're in, you can't get out. So Rob will catch on somewhere. Even though none of his defenses have ever been successful. He's Buddy Ryan's son, damn it!
The Texans are on a roll and I don't think firing Rob Ryan magically makes the Saints defense better. But then again, it seems like all firings of coaches lead to good things this year, so maybe the Saints win via shutout. I'm guessing not, but who knows this season.
Minnesota at Atlanta (-2): We're still favoring the Falcons in football games?
You'd think somebody would get the message after Atlanta dropped three straight games to the Bucs at home, the lowly 49ers and an ancient Colts team at home, but apparently not. The Vikings took quite the whooping from the Packers, but these guys are more their speed. Oh, and Adrian Peterson vs. the Falcons run defense? Yes please. I'll take that All Day. Get it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
St. Louis at Cincinnati (-9): Yay, the Bengals are back to not playing in prime time! That suits this team well. Also suiting this team well is a game with the St. Louis Rams, a team that has proven that they can not beat teams that do not play in the NFC West. Last I checked, the Bengals do not play in the NFC West. WE'RE GETTING BACK ON TRACK THIS WEEK!
I mean, as negative as I am on the Bengals these days, you can't expect me to pick a team quarterbacked by a concussed Case Keenum. That just wouldn't be responsible. Did they at least test him after the game since they didn't bother to during the game? The thing that has me a little bit worried is the possibility they may rally around their wide receiver Stedman Bailey, who's recovering after getting shot in the head twice. Not joking at all here...how does somebody survive that for any length of time? That's one tough dude.
Tampa Bay at Indianapolis (-3): Two 5-5 teams right in the middle of their conference's playoff pictures right here. Best the Bucs can hope for is a wild card, the Colts are still the front-runners in the AFC South despite having their third bad team since 1999. The Bucs have been on a roll lately and that includes victories on the road, which is not usually something you see from a young team. One thing the Colts definitely have going for them is experience. Matt Hasselbeck, Ahamad Bradshaw & Adam Vinatieri will keep on partying like it's 1999 this week. Most of the Bucs were in Pop Warner at that point.
NY Giants (-2.5) at Washington: The Giants have won five straight against Washington and I expect that to continue this week.
Oakland (-1.5) at Tennessee: .....
Honestly, I'm sick of the Raiders being favored outside the Pacific Time Zone when there's no reason to do such a thing, so I'll go with the Titans and the points.
Buffalo at Kansas City (-5): Dustin James informs me that it's the Chiefs' world and we're all just living in it. Who am I to argue, it's not like I want to spend any time talking about this game. Can CBS show an eating contest between Rex Ryan & Andy Reid instead? That'd be a lot more entertaining.
Miami at NY Jets (-3.5): I had a friend in high school that was a Miami Dolphins fan. I'm sure he explained it at some point but I have no recollection of the reasoning. Perhaps it was the color scheme? Maybe he liked dolphins? I don't know. But I do remember his disdain for the New York Jets. Once upon a time, Dolphins vs. Jets was one of those rivalries that the talking heads would tell you was a thing. They would show clips of Jumbo Elliott catching a touchdown pass, Dan Marino throwing a pick-6 & other memorable moments. Now? The rivalry is still there and the games are usually close, but nobody cares. I'm sure the Dolphins & Jets would like us to care again someday, but as long as the Patriots are ruling the AFC East with an iron fist, nobody will care.
I like the Jets here. It won't be as lopsided as their meeting in London, but they should still be able to get the job done.
San Diego at Jacksonville (-4): I guess we're still acting like the Jaguars are contending for something, right? We damn sure know the only thing the Chargers are contending for at this point is the #1 pick in the draft. I mean...maybe tanking and getting the top pick is the best way to move to Los Angeles? I dunno man, I just work here.
Arizona (-10.5) at San Francisco: The Cardinals have shined in prime time the last two weeks, looking every bit a Super Bowl contender. As long as Carson Palmer stays healthy it's tough to see them not at least making it to the NFC Championship game. The 49ers should at least make it to Week 17, though nothing's a given in life.
Pittsburgh at Seattle (-4): We refuse to give up on the Seattle Seahawks. Their defenders that continue to prop them up in the top 10 of their power rankings will tell you that they've won three of their last four games and are peaking at the right time. Thing is, two of those wins were over the sorry, no-account San Francisco 49ers, and the other was a one point victory over Matt Cassel's Dallas Cowboys. Their other two wins were against Detroit (a gift from shoddy officiating), and Chicago.You're going to tell me those victories are enough reason to put Seattle in the top 10 of anything?
This is just like the thing I was talking about with the Cowboys earlier. Since Seattle has been one of the top franchises recently, we give them tons of credit and refuse to acknowledge they're flawed until it's too late. To be fair, sometimes this strategy works. It seems like every year around this time we're starting to notice that the Pittsburgh Steelers aren't exactly running away with the AFC North. But we still give them the benefit of the doubt, and wouldn't you know it, they just peak at the right time and make the playoffs anyway?
Yeah, I don't like it. But it's happening. Big Ben's ready to go, DeAngelo Williams has been on fire, and if you're going to give me the Steelers with some points I'm going to have to take them. Even though the Seahawks are the greatest 5-5 team in the history of the National Football League.
New England (-3) at Denver: Game 2 of the Brock Osweiler Era and Tom Brady's coming to town! It's BRADY VS. OSWEILER I! Let's be honest, we know that Brady owns Peyton Manning, so at least there's a little drama in this particular matchup. Brock is 1-0 as a starter for his career, but outscoring the Patriots is going to be a little bit tougher than outscoring the Chicago Bears.
Let's be honest. I would love for Brock Osweiler to win this game. But I've already said that the Patriots are winning every game this season. I can't go back on that now, even if Denver has a ridiculously great secondary. Brock has to face adversity at some point, and Gary Kubiak needs an excuse to put Old Man Manning back in there.
Monday, November 30
Baltimore at Cleveland (-2.5): Talk about a couple of teams looking for answers. The Ravens lost Joe Flacco & Justin Forsett to injury last week. In case you were wondering where Matt Schaub went after he got kicked out of Houston & Oakland, it turns out that he signed with the Ravens. And as far as backup quarterbacks go, you could do a lot worse than Matt Schaub if he's got his head on straight. He had a bad ending in Houston and never got off the ground floor in Oakland, but he's had success in this league before. He'll look to the likes of Crocket Gillmore & Kamar Aiken to catch the ball, and will be handing the ball off to Javorius "Buck" Allen, who I fully expect to be the next C.J. Anderson and carry fantasy teams to championships this season.
Remember when Dustin James picked this team to win the Super Bowl? I'll never let him live that one down.
Then we got the Browns. They had a bye week, which is typically good for most teams. Not so much for teams that employ Johnny Manziel, as he decided that rehab was indeed for quitters. Manziel has been bumped down the depth chart and now Josh McCown is back on top. McCown obviously isn't a long-term solution and there's an argument that people like Lambert will make for starting Manziel, but the dude has been effective this season. Gary Barnidge's career has become a career thanks to McCown. I feel like this is similar to the Colts situation in that the older guy has actually been the better QB this year...that, the rest and the mess that is the Ravens offense right now should give the Browns the edge here.
Last Week: 11-2-1
2015 Season: 88-65-6
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