You know what? Deciding whether or not all these teams are contenders or pretenders sounds like a great way to fill this column with words and make Dustin James happy. So let's hook em up!
Thursday, December 10
Minnesota at Arizona (-7.5): We've been pushing the Vikings all season here at the USB, and it's not like they've let us down. They're 8-4, tied for first place in the NFC North, and in a pretty good position to make the playoffs. However, I think you have to say that the Vikings are pretenders when it's all said and done. When they play the elite teams in the league (and other than the NFC East champion, the teams in the NFC playoffs are going to be elite), they get embarrassed. Humiliated, if you will. There was this really interesting article on The Daily Norseman that explained the issues facing the Vikings offense...basically, Teddy Bridgewater needs to throw out of the shotgun to be successful, and Adrian Peterson needs his QB under the center to be successful. Other teams are on to this and know when the Vikings are going to pass & when they're going to throw. That isn't a good thing. If the Vikings can't get more production out of Bridgewater & become less predictable on offense, they're going to be one & done. Unless somebody goes on a run they'll still be in the playoffs, but they're not going anywhere once they get there.
Sorry Teddy, dem's the facts.
The Cardinals are obviously contenders. The Cardinals are also the pick here. The Vikings are all beat up after that whooping they got from Seattle and it's going to be tough to recover from that one in a short week & go on the road into one of the toughest environments in the NFL against one of the best teams. We always have to add the qualifier "if Carson Palmer's healthy" with the Cardinals, but if he is...this is a Super Bowl quality team with David Johnson, Chris Johnson or whoever's running the ball. It doesn't matter.
Sunday, December 13
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (-3): Pittsburgh also has a qualifying statement that comes with them. If Ben Roethlisberger is healthy, the Steelers are contenders. I hesitate to crown them just because they destroyed a fraud of an Indianapolis team on Sunday night, but that did show the offense that they can put up against a team with an inferior defense. They'll have a tougher time of it this week, but as long as you've got Big Ben throwing the ball to those receivers, you can put up points with anybody. Once we put Landry Jones in there we have some issues.
You don't want to crown Cincinnati after their demolition of a hapless Rams team and a sorry, no-account Browns team the last couple of weeks, but the Bengals are contenders and we've known that they'll make the playoffs all season. Dalton's the best he's ever been, Jeremy Hill's coming around, and the defense has been solid. The $64,000 question is if they can finally get over the hump and win one of these things. It'd help if they could get a bye, and if they can stay healthy while the competition keep losing guys, that might very well happen.
This feels like a close game, and that's why I think the Steelers are the pick. I felt better about it when the Bengals were at 3.5, because I always take the underdog in that situation. Lots of 3-point games, you know?
Buffalo (-1) at Philadelphia: Neither of these teams are contenders. That being said, this should be a fun little game. Shady McCoy coming home to say hi to Chippy & company should be fun. I'm not sure how the Eagles did it last week. Dustin James tells me it was all Chip Kelly, who is the greatest coach since Vince Lombardi. One flukey week isn't enough for me to buy in though...I'm going to need to see some more. The Bills have been good not great this year. I think we know what we'll get from them, which makes them a safer bet than the Eagles.
Atlanta at Carolina (-7.5): Atlanta has fallen off the table, losing five straight games against not exactly elite competition. The Falcons can't be called anything but pretenders at this point and they're not even worth discussing, other than to point out that they'll be the fifth team since 1970 to go 5-0 and miss the playoffs. That's pretty impressive.
Speaking of teams that are something and 0, the Panthers are contenders to go undefeated. They get two games with the Falcons, a road game against the Giants & a home game against the Buccaneers. They will be favored in all these games...the Giants are occasionally tricky and will be the biggest hurdle. The question is when they will lose, and unfortunately for Panthers fans I think that'll happen during the playoffs. I'm thinking NFC Championship Game, where they'll likely run into Arizona or Green Bay. Yeah, they beat the Packers before, but that'll just give Aaron Rodgers more relaxation.
The Panthers are the easy choice this week. They like to run and Atlanta likes to let teams run. Matt Ryan doesn't know his offense, which makes him easy pickings for whoever's on the Panther defense.
San Francisco at Cleveland (-1.5):OK, this one's easy. The 49ers are pretenders. The Browns are pretenders. The 49ers do occasionally win games and would probably be contenders in the NFC East, but they're nothing more than a novelty. Blaine Gabbert doing things? It's fun to watch. That is what people try to tell me about Johnny Manziel and why he deserves to keep getting chances in spite of personal idiocy, but every time I see him he's stinking up the place and looking about as fit to quarterback a team as Donald Trump is to-
Dang it. I had this whole comparison of Johnny & his unorthodox play & his cult of personality to Donald's, but the editors have spoken. So I'll take the 49ers and the points. The one thing I will say in Manziel's defense...nobody would succeed at the quarterback position with this Cleveland Browns team. I don't even know why ESPN considers it breaking news when they change quarterbacks each week and the result is always the same. Quit wasting our time with these things, ESPN & other sports media. The Browns already have 10 losses and will probably draft another quarterback next year anyway.
Washington at Chicago (-3): Win, loss. Win, loss. Win, loss. Seems to be the pattern for Washington these days. They aren't serious contenders for anything other than winning their division. The winners of the NFC East will host the Seattle Seahawks in the first round. Whoever it is will lose. This is a cold hard fact.
As for the Bears...for some reason I have a lot of Bears fans that read this column. They will probably admit that the Bears are pretenders. They followed up that win in Green Bay by losing in overtime to the San Francisco 49ers. I mean...
That's just not good. And if you think I'm giving the Bears the benefit of the doubt against a co-division leader in Washington, you're kidding yourself.
Detroit at St. Louis: I would love to crown the Lions as contenders, but common sense tells me that they're pretenders. The Rams have fallen off the tracks and are also pretenders. Vegas won't even give us a favorite, this game matters so little. The Lions should still have a little momentum so I'll go with them. I guess.
San Diego at Kansas City (-10): The Chargers were contenders in the preseason maybe. But now they're looking like the team with the least upside in the AFC West going forward. Injuries have decimated them, Melvin Gordon looks like a bust, and their defense isn't worth mentioning. Pretenders to everything.
I really liked the Chiefs in the preseason, and they got off to a slow start, but now they're looking like the team that I thought could contend for a long time to come. They still got Reid & Smith, and I think teams would rather play them than the Steelers in the 1st round, but they're good. And they'll take it to San Diego this week. Take the Chiefs even if that number looks big.
New Orleans at Tampa Bay (-3.5): The Saints know they're pretenders. Mark Ingram went on IR this week, which is terrible news for my Omaha Beef as they head into the Official offtheteam.com Fantasy Football League playoffs, but probably something that needs to be done to protect the Saints' future. Another thing they could use? A defense. Any kind would do, even a bad one.
The Bucs aren't contenders yet, but they're getting there. Famous Jameis has been getting better as the year's gone on, and I expect him, Mike Evans & Vincent Jackson to have huge weeks here. I got the Buccaneers here.
Indianapolis at Jacksonville: The Colts are contenders in this division. They won't do anything once they get to the playoffs. Maybe if Andrew Luck magically reverts to pre-2015 Andrew Luck when he comes back, but not likely. That defense can't stop anybody and seemingly gets worse with each passing year. The Jaguars are pretenders. They do have a great passing game for fantasy football purposes and I expect Blake Bortles & Allen Robinson to have big weeks against the Colts, but their defense is even worse than Indy's. Expect a high-scoring game, certainly more so than their 16-13 tilt in October. I'm going with the Colts simply because I've picked the Jags 2 weeks in a row, and I can't forgive myself if I pick the Jags 3 straight times during a 3 game losing streak. That's just silly.
Tennessee at NY Jets (-7): Tennessee is still technically in the AFC South race, but we all know the Titans are pretenders. Marcus Mariota is damn fun to watch though. He's everything that people try to tell me Manziel is. And it's not like the Titans are that much better in any area of football than Cleveland...except at quarterback.
The Jets are showing life and have to be considered contenders for the last wild card slot. Ftizmagic is working for these guys, what can I say? I think it works for the Jets this week too...Mariota can be good but he also has his off weeks, and I think he'll have an off week against this defense.
Seattle (-6) at Baltimore: The refusal of the Ravens to get blown out has been entertaining and good for my overall record, but that ends this week. The Seahawks are a lot better than the teams Baltimore's been playing lately and are on an unbelievable roll right now. If I'm Carolina the last thing I want right now is Seattle as the 5 seed in the playoffs, but that's probably happening. The Seahawks are contenders to win it all. Some of us knew that the Ravens were pretenders before the season started. Others of us picked them to win the Super Bowl. Take the Seahawks.
Oakland at Denver (-7.5): The flirtation of Oakland with contender status is over, even though it was fun while it lasted. The Broncos are contenders no matter who's at quarterback...that doesn't affect the defense one bit. I like the Broncos here in a game similar to what we saw from Denver vs. San Diego last week.
Dallas at Green Bay (-7): That Green Bay pick I made last week looked pretty bad for most of the game. Then Detroit's usual luck kicked in and we got the win and the cover. A true gambling highlight if there ever was one. I still like Green Bay to figure things out and consider the Packers serious contenders.
The Cowboys also had a last-second win in prime time. I didn't watch any of it because Preds > NFC East > Raw, but apparently the last 2 minutes were great. Beating Washington doesn't impress me, the Cowboys are pretenders even in their sorry division. They're not the pick here either, there's no way I can tell you people to put money on Matt Cassel in Lambeau Field. Go with the Packers.
New England (-3) at Houston: This game was flexed into the SUNDAY NIGHT IS FOOTBALL NIGHT slot because NBC didn't have enough Patriots games on the schedule this season. That's the only explanation I have for it. I mean, Houston is technically contending for the AFC South, and I think they can win that division, but they're pretending when it comes to anything else. Meanwhile, the Patriots have a ton of hurt people but they're still contenders because they're the Patriots. It is what it is. They still got close against Philly last week even though everything that could go wrong did go wrong...my faith in New England is going to need more than that to be shaken.
Monday, December 14
NY Giants (-1.5) at Miami: You know what's next:
I mean, last week's Monday Night Football game was terrible but at least there was a rivalry. These are just two pretenders going out there to stink it up. Take the Dolphins and the points. Sure.
Last Week: 10-6
2015 Season: 106-81-6
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