[Top 10 List] Sports-Related Birthday Gifts To Myself

Sports-Related Birthday Gifts

It's my birthday today! Let's all celebrate!!!!

Now that we got that out of our system, it's time to take a look at my TOP 10 SPORTS-RELATED BIRTHDAY GIFTS!!!

And no, I'm not talking about stuff like a "game worn Babe Ruth hat" or a jersey that has Marcus Mariota's blood on it....no. I'm talking about something entirely different.

I'm talking about stuff like "so and so winning a championship" or "this guy turning into a stud instead of a bust". You know, the hypothetical stuff that everyone loves to talk about.

Get it?

Got it?

Good.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!

10. Oregon vs. Stanford in 2001 goes a different way

Long before Chip Kelly was a hero in Eugene, Oregon for turning the Oregon Ducks into a National powerhouse, the Ducks were quietly already on their way there. Back in 2001, Oregon had a pretty good team quarterbacked by a guy named Joey Harrington. The Ducks were dismantling people and looked like the best team in the country. Then an early Saturday game against a Stanford team that wasn't supposed to be very good came up and punched them in the nose. After the Ducks got off to a HUGE lead against the Cardinal, my friends and I decided to stop watching the game and go out to lunch. Why would we sit around and waste our time with this blowout? Then it happened. We get the news that somehow, someway, the Ducks allowed Stanford to score 21 unanswered points in the 4th quarter and ended up suffering their only loss of the season. Unfortunately for the Ducks, that loss stuck around like a bad fart. When it was time to pick the teams to play for the National Championship (remember that crappy BCS system?), the computers picked the Nebraska Cornhuskers (10-1) over the Oregon Ducks (10-1) to play the Miami Hurricanes for the BCS title, while the Ducks ended up playing Colorado in the Fiesta Bowl. Why did Duck fans have a problem with this? Because Colorado was the only team to beat Nebraska during the regular season and the Ducks absolutely crushed the Buffalo while Miami went on to crush Nebraska. That left everyone in the college football world asking...."What would have happened had the Ducks played Miami"? Well, thanks to that shitty game against Stanford, we are all still left wondering the answer to that question. 

9. Chip Kelly never leaves Oregon

Some relationships are perfect and should never be abolished. The relationship between Chip Kelly and the University of Oregon was one of those things. Chip Kelly is perfect for college football. He's a control freak who's a bit of a hard ass. That personality doesn't always work on professional athletes, but it can create magic when it comes to college kids. Kelly turned the University of Oregon's football program into a consistent powerhouse and one that looked like it could do damage for years. And then he left to pursue other challenges. I do honestly think that Kelly will eventually return to college football and will ultimately regret leaving Oregon to begin with, but we understand why he did it.  

8. That Greg Oden/Brandon Roy/LaMarcus Aldridge thing works out....

After the "Jail Blazers" era, fans of the Portland Trail Blazers were thirsty for some good-hearted basketball players, who had a bit of a mean streak....but only when on the court. That's when the 2006 NBA Draft came around and the Blazers absolutely killed it. Portland ended up trading the 3rd overall pick (Tyrus Thomas) to Chicago for the 2nd overall pick (LaMarcus Aldridge). Then they traded the 7th overall pick (Randy Foye) to the Minnesota Timberwolves for the 6th overall pick (Brandon Roy) and the Blazers future started to look bright. With Roy and Aldridge leading the way, Blazers fans were extremely excited about what was to come and it only got better. Brandon Roy ended up winning the "Rookie of the Year" and attended the NBA Draft Lottery in the Blazers place. That's when magic once again happened! The Blazers ended up winning the draft lottery and got the #1 overall pick. They then used the pick on "SURE FIRE STUD" Greg Oden. With Roy, Aldridge, and now Greg Oden...Portland fans were unusually excited and were already counting the amount of NBA rings these guys were going to win together. And then it happened. Oden and Roy became injury-prone messes and Aldridge was an insufferable cry baby who bolted town when the Portland fans didn't build him a statue. Sigh. What could have been..... 

7. Oregon Ducks win March Madness

After earning their first #1 overall seed in school history, they got kind of close again this year, but it just wasn't meant to be. They ran into a brick house known as "Buddy Hield" and the Oklahoma Sooners and the Ducks were sent packing with their tails between their legs. Fortunately for the Ducks, they are returning pretty much EVERYBODY next season and should be even better. It wasn't meant to be this season, but maybe I can get an Oregon Ducks men's basketball championship for my birthday next year? WHAT DO YOU SAY GUYS?!?!?!?!

6. An NFL team comes to Portland

This one will never happen due to the lack of political support from the city of Portland, but it would be extremely sweet and it would definitely work. It pains me to see NFL teams not consistently sell out arenas when I know full well that the city of Portland would support them no matter how much success the team was achieving at the time. Portland love the Blazers and they love their Timbers. The state is also split down the middle with passion for both the Oregon Ducks and the Oregon State Beavers. An NFL team to Portland would be a huge hit in a city that desperately needs another professional sports team. 

5. Blazers draft Kevin Durant instead of Greg Oden

When the Blazers had the #1 pick in the 2007 NBA Draft, they were left with a big time question. Do they take the guy who came in and took the college basketball world by storm and definitely looked like a 20+ points per game kind of player in the NBA? Or do they take the guy who looked like the kind of guy who can be a dominant center in the NBA for years. The answer was pretty simple for the Blazers. The NBA was fresh off it's "Shaquille O'Neal dominant years" where no NBA team felt as much pain from Shaq as the Blazers did. Shaq absolutely abused the Blazers and we hated him for it. Why? Because we wanted our own version of Shaq and with the #1 pick in the draft...we were supposed to get him in the form of Greg Oden. Oden or Durant? It was an easy answer for Blazers fans, especially considering NBA experts everywhere thought Oden would be the next big thing in the NBA. Unfortunately things ended in disaster. Oden went on to become a big-time bust while Durant is arguably the best player in the league. Of course. 

4. Kansas City Chiefs win a Super Bowl

The Kansas City Chiefs are my favorite NFL team and they have never even been close to winning a championship during the entire time I've supported them. I came on board when Joe Montana jumped ship back in the 90's and that was the closest they've been to winning a Super Bowl since (they lost in the AFC title game that year). Sometimes I feel like I'm the curse and that I'm the reason the Chiefs haven't won jack shit since I jumped ship, but that can't be true....can it? They did finally win a playoff game for the first time in over 20 years this past season and they have what looks like a potential Super Bowl contending team next season. Will it finally happen? It's my birthday and let's make it so.

3. Portland Trail Blazers win an NBA title

It happened in 1977. They got close again in 2000. Unfortunately, they haven't been close since. It's bound to happen again though....right? Something tells me that Damian Lillard will make sure that it does at some point. Let's cross our fingers! 

2. Blazers draft Michael Jordan over Sam Bowie

This one has been beaten to death, so I don't really want to get into full detail here. However, it's pretty simple. In the 1984 NBA Draft, the Blazers had the #2 overall pick. With the pick, they choose Sam Bowie over some guy named Michael Jordan. The Blazers took Bowie because of a team need rather than taking the best player available and it's been a nightmare for Blazers fans ever since. Bowie went on to become an injury-prone bust in the NBA, while Jordan became the greatest player of all-time. Fuck me. 

1. Oregon Ducks win a National Championship in football

Football is my favorite sport. The Oregon Ducks are my favorite football team. They've been close twice in the past five years, but it just hasn't happened yet. Happy birthday to me. The Ducks are champs.