NBA Playoffs Update: Second Round

We’re like two months into the NBA playoffs and only one second round series has been decided. Let’s catch-up.

Cleveland Cavaliers def. Atlanta Hawks 4-0

Recap: The Cavaliers are really good, the Hawks are not. This Hawks team is worse than last year’s Hawks team and LeBron beat last year’s Hawks team without Kevin Love and half of Kyrie Irving. Three of the four games were competitive, but they were only competitive because the Cavs decided to sleep walk through three quarters and then turn it on in the fourth.

Toronto Raptors and Miami Heat tied at 2-2

Recap: This series sucks. Both of these teams are garbage. Neither team has a center right now, but even when they had a center, it was still terrible basketball to watch. DeMar DeRozan and Kyle Lowry look like your rec league friend who thinks he’s really good so he always demands the ball, dribble a bunch, and then airballs the shot. Dwyane Wade is the only redeeming quality of this series, but he’s still Dwyane Wade and fuck that guy. The winner of this series should be forced to play the loser of the Thunder vs. Spurs series in a one game playoff where the winner plays the Cavs in the Eastern Conference Finals. 

Golden State Warriors leads Portland Trailblazers 3-1

Recap: Portland blew games two and four and are now fucked. They couldn’t score in the fourth quarter of game two and in game four Steph Curry returned in the fourth quarter and overtime (he reportedly played in the first three quarters but no one noticed) to rain buckets like it was just a typical Monday in Portland. Now the Blazers have to somehow win three straight games and two in Oakland. That shit ain’t happenin.

Oklahoma City Thunder leads San Antonio Spurs 3-2

Recap: Game one was a blowout. The next four games have all been close in the fourth quarter and somehow Oklahoma City, a team that has sucked in the fourth quarter all season, has won three of those four games. They tried their hardest to screw up the two games in San Antonio, but they managed to survive. This whole series has been weird. LaMarcus Aldridge looked like the greatest power forward of all-time in the first two games, Kawhi Leonard has looked like the second best player in the league for three quarter and then disappeared in the fourth, Kevin Durant looks unstoppable one game and then unnoticeable the next, and Russell Westbrook has been Russell Westbrooking this entire series. Everything you thought you knew about these two teams has gone out the window this series. Basketball can be so dumb sometimes.