NBA Finals Recap in One Photo

Let me get this out of the way: I have not watched a single second of the NBA Finals and I'm an extremely bitter Oklahoma City Thunder fan. So what you're about to read is the non-expert analysis from a fan who can't stand either of these two teams for multiple reasons.

Now, take a look at the photo above. Do you see all the bitchmadeness in that photo? It's pretty easy to see, so if you can't see it, maybe go get your eyes checked like right now.

Let's start with LeBron James. Look how jacked this guy is. This man could be, pound for pound, the strongest guy in the NBA. Whatever that means. He could probably rip a dudes head off with one hand like he's in Mortal Kombat or some shit. This dude looks like one of those douchebags at the gym that grunts when he's lifting weights because he wants you to pay attention to how strong he is. Basically, he's really strong. Now look at his face. Now back at his arms. Now back to his face. Why is this man in such pain as Steph Curry barely touches him with his pinky? Maybe Steph is scratching him with his pinky, a tactic I wouldn't put past Curry. And if that's the case, I can see why LeBron would be in such pain given his thin skin. Aside from that, there's no reason why a man as strong as LeBron should be in such agony as skinny Steph grazes him on the arm.

Now look at Steph. He's so afraid of touching LeBron that he's trying to pull his hand back from such action. He recoils in fear, not fear of picking up some dumb touch foul, but fear of being exposed. This is why Steph is the biggest fake in the NBA. When things are going great, he's flexing, he's dancing, and he's doing a bunch of stupid shit with his arms that everyone loves because they didn't know any better until a couple weeks ago. But when Steph is challenged, like he's being challenged in this photo, he backs away and has his wife fight his battles on Twitter.

This photo sums up the NBA Finals. One guy, embracing his bitchmadeness that was exposed long ago, colliding with the other, trying to run from his true bitchmade self.