NFL Power Rankings: Week 2

Here's another guest post from my good friend Jeremy Lambert......

Welcome to the Ultimate Football Blog Week Two Power Rankings. Like most power rankings, this list is highly official and should never be doubted. If you disagree with it, you’re probably a moron and shouldn’t be on this blog. Enjoy. 

1. Leah Sari 

It’s been a shitty week for the NFL but this is a feel good story that isn’t getting enough attention. The Cincinnati Bengals kept Devon Still on their practice squad in order to help him pay for his daughter Leah’s cancer treatment. This past Sunday Devon got to play in his first NFL game as his daughter watched on. 

2. Cam Newton’s Leadership

Remember last year when people thought Cam Newton wasn’t a leader and was immature because he got too happy or too sad before, during, and after games? Those people are long gone. Cam missed a good bit of training camp and wasn’t good in the preseason, yet he still went 22/34 for 281 yards and a TD throwing to a group of wide receivers that he’s never played a regular season game with. All of that on bruised ribs and a bum ankle. 

3. Antonio Gates

You probably thought he, like Larry Fitzgerald, was dead. I guess the Seattle Seahawks thought the same thing because Gates torched the best defense in the league for 96 yards and three touchdowns. 

4. J.J. Watt Offensive Touchdown

Anytime a defensive player scores a touchdown, it’s pretty awesome. When that defensive player is J.J. Watt, a top five defensive player in the league, it’s even more awesome. 

5. Robert Griffin III Coverage

RG3 is always a big hit amongst sports stations. He gave them even more to talk about this week as he decided to get injured once again. Even worse for him, Kirk Cousins continues to prove that he’s a really good quarterback when given the chance. Looks like he’ll continue to get that chance this season. 

6. Peyton Manning

Still really good at football

7. Buffalo Bills Fans

This week they found out that Bills will be staying in Buffalo and then the Bills put a whooping on a solid Miami team to start the season 2-0. We’ve been here before with Buffalo, but it’s still a good story for the week. 

8. Teddy Bridgewater Bandwagon

The New England Patriots were never going to lose two games in a row and the Minnesota Vikings were never going to win without Adrian Peterson. That said, Matt Cassel didn’t give his team a chance and now the Steve Cook-led Teddy Bridgewater Bandwagon is in full effect. Sources tell me that Bridgewater could play as early as this weekend. 

9. Jets Comedy

As if blowing an 18-point lead wasn’t enough, the Jets continue to make us all laugh by still thinking that Geno Smith is a good quarterback and then allowing a defensive player or the offensive coordinator or whoever to call a timeout, which negated an offensive touchdown. The Jets are so much fun to watch for all the wrong reasons.

10. Throwing Flags During Fights

It’s always awesome when 300 pound lineman get into shoving contests after the whistle and the refs respond by throwing a bunch of yellow flags like that’s going to prevent them from stopping. Yellow just means speed up to avoid red. 

11. The Eagles Second Half

Sooner or later they’re not going to win a game when they are down by two scores to start the second half. But playing The Jacksonville Jaguars and Trent Richardson/Bad Refs make things pretty possible. 

15. The INT Battle

Tony Romo and Jay Cutler were quiet in the INT Battle this week, but Eli Manning didn’t disappoint as he threw two more picks. Matt Cassel decided he wanted to win something this week, so he threw three interceptions to tie Eli atop the INT rankings. 

20. Richard Sherman Being Exposed

Phillip Rivers actually threw at Richard Sherman on Sunday. He completed five passes for 60 yards, which led to Keenan Allen saying that Sherman “isn’t a shutdown corner” and that he was “exposed.” Sherman didn’t speak to the media after the game, but took to twitter to deny rumors of him being exposed. Sherman and the Seahawks defense play Peyton Manning and the Broncos offense this week.

50. Jim Caldwell Face

Turns out coaching the Detroit Lions offense isn’t so easy when the opposing team doesn’t leave Calvin Johnson wide open. 

55. Fantasy Running Backs

Adrian Peterson was held out of this weeks game and his future is questionable, Jamaal Charles ran for 4 yards before getting injured, Eddie Lacy had 43 yards, Marshawn Lynch had 36 yards, Matt Forte had 21 yards. Those were five of the top six rated fantasy running backs before the season started. LeSean McCoy (the six RB in that group) didn’t put up huge numbers (79 yards), but at least he had a TD. 

56. Tom Brady Fantasy Owners

People probably saw that the Patriots won 30-7 and assumed that Brady had 300+ yards and 3 TDs. Then they clicked the box score and were pissed to see that he had 149 yards and 1 TD. The same people who started Brady probably sat Steven Ridley. 

66. Victor Cruz Salsa Dance

We may never see it again if he can’t catch the ball. 

75. The Superman Sack

Whenever Cam Newton gets sacked, the sacker always does the Superman pose. Sacking Cam isn’t really that big of an accomplishment given how often it happens, so doing his pose just makes you look unoriginal and stupid. 

80. The Oakland Raiders Without Derek Carr

The Oakland Raiders are a bad football team. If you took away Derek Carr and replaced him with whoever their back-up is, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t qualify as an NFL team. 

99. Johnny Manziel

The Cleveland Browns are 1-0 when Manziel attempts a pass. 

100. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Bandwagon

A lot of “experts” were high on Tampa Bay this year because they re-tooled their offense and brought in Lovie Smith. How is that working out for them? You can’t lose to a third string, undrafted, rookie quarterback making his first ever start at home.

101. Mike Nugent

The Cincinnati Bengals put together a very impressive victory yesterday no thanks to their kicked Mike Nugent, who missed three field goals. One is understandable. Two is worrisome. Three and you should probably find a new job. 

120. The RG3 vs. Luck Debate

Remember when Robert Griffin III vs. Andrew Luck was a thing heading into the 2012 and even the season after? Not anymore. 

150. New Orleans Saints Defense

Last week we thought the Atlanta Falcons defense was just really good because Julio Jones and Roddy White were healthy, Devin Hester was a new weapon, and Matt Ryan is a good quarterback. Turns out the Saints defense just really sucks. 

200. Jacksonville Jaguars Offensive Line

They just let just Chad Henne get sacked again. 

1,000. NFL Suspension Policy

Like these power rankings, it’s made up as we go. 

For more deliciousness from Jeremy Lambert, be sure to visit his Twitter page. It's chalked full of good stuff.