NFL Power Rankings: Week 3

Once again, Jeremy Lambert joins The Ultimate Football Blog with his weekly NFL Power Rankings that are much much better than the versions you'll see on ESPN, Bleacher Report, etc. Trust me, I know these things. I'm kind of a genius....



Welcome to the Ultimate Football Blog Week Three Power Rankings. Like most power rankings, this list is highly official and should never be doubted. If you disagree with it, you’re probably a moron and shouldn’t be on this blog. Enjoy.

1. Worst Team in the NFL

It’s only week three, but it’s never too early to try and figure out who the worst team in the league is. Being the best team in the league during the regular season doesn’t really matter (more on that later) but being the worst team is a pretty big deal because you get the #1 overall pick in the draft. So who is the worst team? Right now the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Oakland Raiders, and Jacksonville Jaguars are the only winless teams. The Bucs have been outscored by 50 points, but a lot of that came this past week against the Atlanta Falcons. The Jags on the other hand have been outscored by 75 points, losing by three or more scored in every game. On the bright side, they’ll be starting a rookie quarterback from here on out.

2. Rookie QBs not named Johnny Manziel

Teddy Bridgewater and Blake Bortles got into the game for their respective teams and appear to be the starters until further notice. Derek Carr won the starting job in Oakland. On the other hand, Johnny Manziel played one snap at wide receiver and that play didn’t even count. I know ESPN doesn’t realize this, but Manziel isn’t good and will never make it as a starting QB.

3. The Overtime Rule

When Peyton Manning, regular season MVP, lost a playoff game to the San Diego Chargers in overtime despite never getting the ball in his hands, there was an uproar to change the rule. And they did. Well, on Sunday, Peyton Manning lost a regular season game to the Seattle Seahawks in overtime without touching the ball after a pretty miraculous regulation ending. Will the rule be changed again? Probably not, but it should. The old rule sucked and the current rule sucks. Just play a 10 minute overtime period and be done with it. And if there’s still a tie, play another 10 minutes.

4. Mohamed Sanu at Quarterback

In his career, Sanu is 4/4 with 166 and 2 TDs. Why isn’t this guy always under center? Half of his passes go for touchdowns and he’s never thrown an incompletion. Suck on that every other QB in the league.

5. Peyton Manning 1 Minute Drive

No one can ever doubt Peyton Manning is a regular season game.

6. The Pittsburgh Steelers Run Game

The Panthers might not have had Greg Hardy, but their front seven is still a top-notch group that is designed to stop the run. Well, they didn’t stop LeVeon Bell and LeGarrette Blount from each putting up over 100 yards on the ground.

7. Carson Palmer’s Time As A Starter

The “rule” is that you don’t lose your job if your injured. But when your replacement plays better than you, doesn’t turn the ball over, and wins games; then you should probably lose your job despite being injured.

8. DeSean Jackson Fly Eagle Celebration

They didn’t win the game, but that was a nice catch/run/celebration from Jackson against his former team.

9. Andrew Luck

I might just reserve this #9 spot for the guy who lights up the Jaguars each week.

10. The INT Battle

Welcome to the party, Josh McCown.

20. New England Patriots Offense

Gronkowski is back and they still have Tom Brady, but the Patriots offense isn’t exactly striking fear into many teams like it once did.

25. Best Team in the NFL

Who is the best team in the NFL? Who cares. Being the best during the regular season doesn’t matter. You can win every game in the regular season, but if you don’t win the Super Bowl, you failed. Never buy into the talk of who the best team is during the regular season, because it’ll change next week, and it’ll definitely change by the time the playoffs start.

29. Nate Freese

YOU HAVE ONE FRIGGIN JOB!

30. The Green Bay Packers Offense

Not putting up good numbers against the Seahawks defense is one thing. Not putting up good numbers against the Lions terrible secondary is something else. The Packers offense should be good given that they have Aaron Rodgers, Jordy Nelson, Randall Cobb, and Eddie Lacy. But for some reason, maybe it’s the play calling of Mike McCarthy, this offense just isn’t clicking.

31. The San Francisco 49ers Second Half Defense

Last week they blew a 20-7 lead in the second half. This week they blew a 14-6 lead. The 49ers were supposed to have one of the best defenses in the league. And they do. For the first 30 minutes.

50. Ryan Tannehill

Looks like his time as a started might be coming to an end. But have you seen his wife?

51. Jon Gruden

I usually don’t listen to NFL commentary, but I was put in a position where I had to listen to MNF commentary. Boy does Jon Gruden suck.

100. Thursday Night Games

They always seem to suck. Get rid of them.

101. Johnny Manziel

Manziel didn’t throw a pass, Browns didn’t win.

488. Lovie Smith Defense

Does not exist.

500. The Eagles/Redskins Brawl

On the bright side, at least NFL players were trying to hit other NFL players instead of women and children.

1000. The Exemption List

No one knew what this was prior to last week and people still don’t exactly know what it actually is.


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