Monday, September 8, 2014

NFL Round-Up: Week 1

Here's a look back at all the action from week 1 in the NFL accompanied by my witty comments. It will be a real blessing for everyone involved.

(Please note: Since I have actual responsibilities like a full-time job and a baby, I don't actually comment on the Sunday Night Game. Some things are just on too damn late....)


Green Bay - 16 (0-1) @ Seattle - 36 (1-0)

Dominance. That was the story of this game. Last year's Super Bowl champions looked every bit the part again as the Seattle Seahawks whooped the Green Bay Packers (who are legit Super Bowl contenders) in their quest to bring a second straight Super Bowl trophy home to the Pacific Northwest. As of right now, I say this Seattle team looks just as good as last year's team, if not better and that's a scary thing for the rest of the NFL to have to deal with. Green Bay is still a contender in my eyes, but they were basically sheep being led to wolves by having to start the season in Seattle right after the Seahawks got to hang the first championship in franchise history in front of that rabid fan base.

Green Bay Offensive MVP: Jordy Nelson (9 receptions, 83 yards)

Green Bay Defensive MVP: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix (5 tackles, 1 sack, 1 pass deflected)

Seattle Offensive MVP: Marshawn Lynch (20 carries, 110 yards, 2 TD's)

Seattle Defensive MVP: Bobby Wagner (14 tackles)

Up next for Green Bay: vs. New York Jets (1-0)

Up next for Seattle: vs. @ San Diego



New Orleans - 34 (0-1) @ Atlanta - 37 (1-0)

Huge win for the Falcons to kick-off the season after the atrocious season they suffered last year. Matt Ryan has some of the best weapons in the NFL to work with and it showed in this game. His 448 passing yards is ridiculous and if the Saints expect to get to the NFC Championship game like I predicted, they need to work those chinks out of the armor immediately. They didn't give Jarius Byrd all that money in the off-season to have Ryan come in and throw for almost 500 yards. The silver lining for Saints fans is, rookie Brandin Cooks looks like a legitimate play-maker and will be one of the most exciting players to watch this year.

New Orleans Offensive MVP: Brandin Cooks (7 catches, 77  receiving yards, 1 TD, 1 rush, 18 rushing yards)

New Orleans Defensive MVP: Curtis Lofton (10 tackles)

Atlanta Offensive MVP: Matt Ryan (31 for 43 for 448 yards, 3 TD's, 128.8 rating)

Atlanta Defensive MVP: Joplo Bartu (10 tackles, 1 fumble recovery)

Up next for New Orleans: @ Cleveland (0-1)

Up next for Atlanta: @ Cincinnati (1-0)



Buffalo - 23 (1-0) @ Chicago - 20 (0-1)

Did I whiff on the Chicago Bears this year? I mean, I did call for them to win the NFC North and all of a sudden they are losing to the Buffalo Bills and EJ Manuel at home. No one should ever lose to a team quarterbacked by EJ Manuel at home, especially a team with Super Bowl dreams like the Bears have. The good news is, the offense was decent. The bad news is, the Bills ran all over the defense and that's not a good sign for Chicago who has to face RB's like Eddie Lacy, Adrian Peterson, Doug Martin, and DeMarco Murray and would likely end up facing "BEAST MODE" in the playoffs. Giving up almost 200 rushing yards is ridiculous for Chicago's defense, but it's great news for Bills fans. The Bills aren't going to get very far if they have to rely on Manuel to make plays at quarterback and if they are going to win games it's going to be on the back of their running backs and their defense. Buffalo allowed over 300 passing yards to Cutler, but held the Bears to only 86 yards rushing. That's the exact blueprint that the Bills need to win football games in the National Football League and they executed it perfectly.

Buffalo Offensive MVP: C.J. Spiller (15 carries, 53 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 11 receiving yards, 1 TD)

Buffalo Defensive MVP: Preston Brown (7 tackles, 1 fumble recovery)

Chicago Offensive MVP: Matt Forte (17 carries, 82 rushing yards, 8 receptions, 87 receiving yards)

Chicago Defensive MVP: Chris Conte (7 tackles, 1 pass deflected, 1 interception)

Up next for Buffalo: vs. Miami (1-0)

Up next for Chicago: vs. @ San Francisco (1-0)



Tennessee - 26 (1-0) @ Kansas City - 10 (0-1)

Well, that was ugly. Sometimes, football is just extremely confusing. On paper, Kansas City has a much better roster and a better head coach, but this is why you play the game folks. The Chiefs offense was just absolutely dreadful. If that's a sign of things to come, the Chiefs are going to be one of those teams that gets crushed by good teams (Seattle, San Fran, Denver) and will barely squeak out wins against poor teams. I hate to overreact, but the Titans are not a good football team and the Chiefs got crushed AT HOME! The Chiefs needed to win this game in a big way, especially with the schedule they have in front of them and they came out and disappointed in the worst possible way. The offensive line has major issues and I know they were missing some key players on offense (Dwayne Bowe & Donald Stephenson were both suspended, De'Anthony Thomas was injured), but this team is going to regret not improving their wide receiving corp in the worst way in the off-season. Donnie Avery is absolutely awful and needs to go right now. The only problem is the Chiefs have no one to replace him with. This was absolutely positively the worst way the Chiefs could start out the season (Derrick Johnson looks to be out for the year with an injury), but good for the Titans and Jake Locker. I either seriously under-estimated you or the Chiefs or really just that bad.

Tennessee Offensive MVP: Jake Locker (22 of 33 for 266 yards, 2 TD's, 111.4 QBR rating)

Tennessee Defensive MVP: Jason McCourty (3 tackles, 2 passes deflected, 2 interceptions)

Kansas City Offensive MVP: No One. Shame on all of you.

Kansas City Defensive MVP: Justin Houston (3 tackles, 2 sacks)

Up next for Tennessee: vs. Dallas (0-1)

Up next for Kansas City: vs. @ Denver



Minnesota - 34 (1-0) @ St. Louis - 6 (0-1)

Look, I feel for you St. Louis, I really do. However, everyone and their mother knew you guys needed a quarterback if you had any chance of being successful this season and you guys came out and laid a giant stinky egg in your first outing of the season. You guys have a talented roster, but you have a glaring hole at the most important position in the NFL. There has to be someone out there on an NFL roster who's ready to come out and shine in the same way a former grocery clerk named Kurt Warner did for you years and years ago. Whoever it is, the guy currently isn't sitting on your roster, so may want to have Jeff Fisher start checking out the Safeway's in the greater-St. Louis area if you guys plan on being competitive this season. If the Minnesota Vikings can come into your house and score 34 points on you, just imagine what your division rivals the Seattle Seahawks and San Francisco 49ers will have up their sleeves. Let's not put this all on how crappy St. Louis looked though. Let's give some credit to the Minnesota Vikings who actually came out and looked like a balanced football team. Stop playing with my eyes Vikings and go back to your regularly scheduled crappiness next week. Stop looking like a legit playoff team....unless you actually are one? I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!!

Minnesota Offensive MVP: Cordarrelle Patterson (3 carries, 102 rushing yards, 1 TD, 3 receptions, 26 receiving yards)

Minnesota Defensive MVP: Harrison Smith (2 tackles, 1 sack, 1 pass deflected, 1 interception, 1 interception return for a TD)

St. Louis Offensive MVP: Brian Quick (7 catches, 99 yards)

St. Louis Defensive MVP: Aaron Donald (4 tackles, 2 tackles for loss)

Up next for Minnesota: vs. New England (0-1)

Up next for St. Louis: vs. @ Tampa Bay (0-1)



New England - 20 (0-1) @ Miami - 33 (1-0)

Football is a game of four quarters. No one knows that better than us Oregon Duck fans. Sometimes, a team can not look so good in the first half and make some serious halftime adjustments that have the other team's heads spinning on a swivel. That's what happened in the Miami/New England game. New England had a 20-10 lead going into halftime and the Dolphins came out and spanked them in the second half. Miami actually looked good on both sides of the ball in the second half and just out-played the Patriots in every aspect of the game. The Dolphins defense put pressure on Tom Brady which caused the "Wonder Boy" to turn the ball over and gave Miami's new fast-paced offense opportunities to take over the football game. Miami will now face Buffalo next week and one of the teams will start the season out 2-0, while New England heads to Minnesota and faces a very real possibility of starting out the season 0-2 and in a big hole behind either the Bills or the Dolphins.

New England Offensive MVP: Julian Edelman (6 receptions, 95 receiving yards, 2 carries, 21 rushing yards)

New England Defensive MVP: Jerod Mayo (12 tackles, 1 sack, 1 fumble recovery)

Miami Offensive MVP: Knowshon Moreno (24 carries, 134 yards, 1 TD)

Miami Defensive MVP: Cameron Wake (3 tackles, 2 sacks)

Up next for New England: @ Minnesota (1-0)

Up next for Miami: @ Buffalo (1-0)



Oakland - 14 (0-1) @ New York Jets - 19 (1-0)

Did you watch this game? Ya, neither did I. Around my house, we called it "The Toilet Bowl" as both these teams are highly expected to be fighting for the #1 draft pick come December. Sorry if you're angry, but I'm just telling the truth....no matter how ugly it is. Sure, there were some promising things in this football game (Derek Carr continues to show promise and Geno Smith showed some flashes of brilliance), but truth be told, these are two of the worst teams in the NFL and one of them HAD to win. Let's move along....

Oakland Offensive MVP: Derek Carr (20 for 32 for 151 yards, 2 TD's, 94.7 rating)

Oakland Defensive MVP: Sio Moore (13 tackles, 1 sack)

New York Jets Offensive MVP: Chris Ivory (10 carries, 102 yards, 1 TD)

New York Jets Defensive MVP: Dawan Landry (7 tackles, 1 sack)

Up next for Oakland: vs. Houston (1-0)

Up next for New York Jets: vs. @ Green Bay (0-1)



Jacksonville - 17 (0-1) @ Philadelphia - 34 (1-0)

That was a close one. You can breathe a sigh of relief now Eagles fans, because you guys didn't lose to the Jaguars at home on opening weekend, but it was a close one. The game couldn't have started any worse for Eagles fans, but in the end, it all worked out. This was very reminiscent of one of Chip Kelly's games at Oregon. Kelly's teams would usually start out slow and go on a tear in the second half when the defense was worn out and that's what the Eagles did to the Jaguars. The Jaguars are an extremely underrated team though. They are actually pretty solid on defense and managed to give one of the best offensive teams in the league some fits, they just couldn't do it for an entire game. Hold your heads up Jaguar fans. You guys look much improved and shouldn't be considered an easy win for anyone this season. As for Eagles fans, wipe your brow and move along. You survived a close one.

Jacksonville Offensive MVP: Allen Hurns (4 catches, 110 yards, 2 TD's)

Jacksonville Defensive MVP: Ryan Davis (2 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 fumble recovery)

Philadelphia Offensive MVP: LeSean McCoy (21 carries, 74 rushing yards, 6 receptions, 41 receiving yards)

Philadelphia Defensive MVP: Mychal Kendricks (6 tackles, 1 sack, 1 pass deflected)

Up next for Jacksonville: @ Washington (0-1)

Up next for Philadelphia: @ Indianapolis



Cleveland - 27 (0-1) @ Pittsburgh - 30 (1-0)

This game can be described by one thing and one thing only.....




Cleveland Offensive MVP: Brian Hoyer (19 of 31 for 230 yards, 1 TD)

Cleveland Defensive MVP: Karlos Dansby (6 tackles, 1 tackle for loss, 2 pass deflections, 1 interception)

Pittsburgh Offensive MVP: Antonio Brown (DID YOU NOT SEE THAT KARATE KICK?)

Pittsburgh Defensive MVP: Jarvis Jones (6 tackles, 1 sack, 2 tackles for loss)

Up next for Cleveland: vs. New Orleans (0-1)

Up next for Pittsburgh: @ Baltimore (0-1)



Cincinnati - 23 (1-0) @ Baltimore - 16 (0-1)

Whenever the Bengals and Ravens get together, it's a good time. Had you asked me to pick a winner for this game beforehand, I would have given you a confused look because I honestly don't know which team is better. After this game? I can convincingly say that Cincinnati is a better football team than Baltimore is, but not by much. A lot of people have picked the Benglas to be a "flop" team this year and a win over the Ravens in Baltimore to kickoff the season is absolutely huge. I picked the Ravens to win the division and I'm not feeling too comfortable about it now. The AFC North title may once again go through Cincinnati (now, can they just win a damn playoff game?).....

Cincinnati Offensive MVP: A.J. Green (6 catches, 131 yards, 1 TD)

Cincinnati Defensive MVP: Emmanuel Lamur (11 tackles, 1 interception)

Baltimore Offensive MVP: Steve Smith (7 catches, 118 yards, 1 TD)

Baltimore Defensive MVP: C.J. Mosley (7 tackles, 1 pass deflected)

Up next for Cincinnati: vs. Atlanta (1-0)

Up next for Baltimore: vs. Pittsburgh (1-0)



Washington - 6 (0-1) @ Houston - 17 (1-0)

If the Houston Texans are going to make a return to the playoffs this year, they are going to need their defense to play lights out and well....they did. Now, I know Robert Griffin III is far from a good NFL quarterback, but the Texans defense was on fire this week. They held the Redskins out of the end zone all game and were constantly in RG III's face the entire time. It also didn't help matters that Washington was 3-for-12 on third down's and couldn't hold on to the ball. It was not a good debut for new head coach Jay Gruden, but it was a successful debut for Texans head coach Bill O'Brien. Like I said, the defense looked spectacular and the offense was efficient enough to get the job done. I may have been wrong when I said that Houston wasn't a playoff team. Either that, or Washington just really sucks.

Washington Offensive MVP: Alfred Morris (14 carries, 91 yards)

Washington Defensive MVP: Jason Hatcher (5 tackles, 1 sack, 1 pass deflected)

Houston Offensive MVP: DeAndre Hopkins (4 catches, 89 yards, 1 TD)

Houston Defensive MVP: J.J. Watt (3 tackles, 1 sack, 1 pass deflected, 5 QB hits)

Up next for Washington: vs. Jacksonville (0-1)

Up next for Houston: vs. @ Oakland (0-1)



San Francisco - 28 (1-0) @ Dallas - 17 (0-1)

Sometimes you are just better than the other team on the opposite side of the field from you. And sometimes, you are better than the other team on the opposite side of the field from top-to-bottom and I'm talking from roster all the way to owner. This was an unfair fight when it was booked and the score makes it look closer than it actually was. Cowboys are one step closer to getting Marcus Mariota like I predicted weeks ago....



San Francisco Offensive MVP: Colin Kaepernick (16 of 23 for 201 yards, 2 TD's, 5 carries, 11 rushing yards)

San Francisco Defensive MVP: Justin Smith (6 tackles, 2 sacks)

Dallas Offensive MVP: DeMarco Murray (22 carries, 118 rushing yards, 1 TD, 3 receptions, 25 receiving yards)

Dallas Defensive MVP: Bruce Carter (6 tackles, 1 sack, 1 pass deflection)

Up next for San Francisco: vs. Chicago (0-1)

Up next for Dallas: vs. @ Tennessee (1-0)



Carolina - 20 (1-0) @ Tampa Bay - 14 (0-1)

Carolina fans were sweating this afternoon when it was announced that Cam Newton was going to miss the opening game with an injury. There were already plenty of skeptics watching Carolina with a close eye waiting for them to flop on their face this season. With their starting QB out and playing at a divisional rival that's supposed to be a "pop" team this year...the Panthers are extremely lucky to walk out of Tampa Bay with a week 1 win. Derek Anderson actually played a decent game and showed why he's one of the best back-ups in the league (people seriously laugh when I say that). Rookie WR Kelvin Benjamin also had a good game, as did Carolina's defense, which played spectacularly. I still think Tampa Bay is a better football team than they were last year, it may just take some time to get things working properly.

Carolina Offensive MVP: Derek Anderson (24 of 34 for 230 yards, 2 TD's, 3 carries, 10 rushing yards, 108.7 rating)

Carolina Defensive MVP: Antoine Cason (9 tackles, 2 passes deflected, 1 interception)

Tampa Bay Offensive MVP: Josh McCown (22 of 35 for 183 yards, 2 TD's, 2 INT's, 3 carries, 27 rushing yards, 71.5 rating)

Tampa Bay Defensive MVP: Gerald McCoy (8 tackles, 1 sack, 2 tackles for loss)

Up next for Carolina: vs. Detroit

Up next for Tampa Bay: vs. St. Louis (0-1)


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