Nor am I surprised by Jeremy Lambert's tirade against fantasy football. He's been talking to me about this for a couple of years now. I get where he's coming from, but I disagree with his stance. I think fantasy football increases fandom of the league as a whole, and that's why the NFL promotes it as much as they do. If Jeremy Lambert & people of his ilk had their way, people would only care about the teams they root for and not watch any other games. That's how Major League Baseball operates these days. Even though fantasy sports started with baseball, MLB has never really promoted fantasy baseball, in fact they tend to ignore it. So they have fans that only watch their teams & don't bother with other games. Yeah, the World Series gets a big rating since it's for all the marbles, but ask Fox how their Saturday Game of the Week does. Not good. The Braves fan isn't tuning in on Saturday at 4:00 to watch the Tigers & Angels. What's that got to do with the Braves? Nothing! Maybe if he had Miguel Cabrera or Mike Trout on his fantasy team, he'd think differently.
When fans feel they have things on the line in games, whether it be betting or with fantasy, they're more interested. That's why the NFL is more than happy that Seahawks fans have T.Y. Hilton on their fantasy team and are motivated to watch Colts games that aren't on against Seahawks games. Maybe their fandom of T.Y. Hilton isn't pure, and next year when somebody else drafts him they won't be as interested, but they're watching the game now & that's what counts. That Seahawks fan that doesn't have T.Y. Hilton on their team next year...maybe they'll have Mohamed Sanu. Then they'll be watching Bengals games that aren't on against Seahawks games. It's ok to have a favorite team & have favorite players on other teams. That doesn't make you a bad person, even though Jeremy Lambert & his ilk would have you believe that you are. Fantasy sports makes us more aware of the individuals playing the game, which I can only believe is a good thing.
All right, let's get it started! All of these games are on Sunday, by the way. No Thursday, no Monday, it's all going down on Sunday.
Browns at Ravens (-9): I'm not sure you can make this line high enough. The Ravens have to win this game & hope for a Chargers loss to get in the playoffs, while the Browns will be running...somebody out there at quarterback. Connor Shaw? Who? Tyler Thigpen? Why? On the bright side, they can't be any worse than Johnny Manziel. Ravens might be resting their starters by the time the second half rolls around, this is gonna get ugly. Why would Rex Grossman want any part of this debacle?
Cowboys (-6.5) at Washington: Dallas needs to win this game & hope that Seattle loses so they can get a first round bye. It's not likely that Seattle will lose, but since Dallas plays earlier in the day they'll still think they have a chance. Thing is, this is one of those pesky rivalry games since we all played Cowboys vs. Indians as kids. At least people in my generation & prior did. Now they play Cowboys vs. Native Americans, or they play with their video games instead. Anyway, Washington's been pretty fiesty lately, and the perfect way for their season to end would be RG3 leading the team to victory over their rivals & ensuring that we have no idea whether or not he's good. Yup, I think that's what'll happen here. If nothing else they'll make it close. Maybe an RG3 pick at the end?
Colts (-7) at Titans: I don't expect to see much from the Colts starters this week since they're going to be the 4 seed in the AFC no matter what happens. If they win they'll either be tied with the Steelers, who own a tiebreaker over them, or slightly behind the Bengals & their Carolina tie that's helpful in these scenarios. Come to think of it, we didn't see too much from the Colts starters last week either, so they'll be good and rested for their wild card game. The tricky part here is that the Titans will be playing for draft position & the last thing they need to do at this point is win this game & put themselves behind Tampa Bay.
Yeah, I wouldn't waste my time with a second of this game.
I guess Titans at home & with the points is the smart play here but if you're gambling on this you have issues.
Saints (-4) at Buccaneers:
The Buccaneers are also in a position where they need to lose this game for draft positioning purposes, so I'm picking the Saints here. Has there been a bigger disappointment among NFL teams than the New Orleans Saints this season? I fully expected them to run away with what I saw as a mediocre NFC South, but they managed to bumble their way out of winning probably the worst division in NFL history. Maybe the Eagles team in the next matchup is in the conversation, but at least they have a winning record & they've been playing with Mark Sanchez for over a month. Maybe you can tell me that Jimmy Graham's injuries have had a similar effect on the Saints, but for God's sake they still had Drew Brees. Maybe the 49ers or Bears make the conversation, but there were warning signs for both teams falling off the map & they both play in tough divisions. Nah, it's gotta be the Saints.
Eagles at Giants (-3): 76ers vs. Knicks games mean more than this one will, as Philly was eliminated from the playoff chase last week after losing to the Washington Football Team. If you lose to Washington you don't deserve to be in the playoffs, hell, you probably don't deserve to be in the league. The Eagles have nobody to blame but themselves, as after Thanksgiving they lost three straight games to get themselves out of the playoff picture. The Giants have won three straight since wrapping up a seven-game losing streak by losing to the lowly Jaguars, and have decided they're going to play for pride if nothing else. I think they have more of that than the Eagles do at this point, and they want some revenge for that beating Philly put on them in Week 6 to start that losing streak.
Bills at Patriots (-5): The Pats have absolutely nothing to play for here since they clinched AFC homefield with the Broncos' loss in Cincinnati. Expect Tom Brady & the starters to play a series at the most, and the Bills to get a win over the second & third units since they eliminated themselves from playoff contention last week by losing to Oakland. We really should have seen that coming since it's so Buffalo to screw the pooch when you've got everything in hand. You shut down Peyton Manning & Aaron Rodgers, so of course Derek Carr's too much for you to handle. Makes perfect sense.
Jaguars at Texans (-9.5):
Texans.
Chargers at Chiefs (-2.5): If San Diego wins this game, they're in the playoffs. Alls they gots to do is roll into Kansas City & beat a Chief team that's lost four of their last five games. KC still has a chance of getting in if they beat the Chargers, the Jaguars beat the Texans & the Browns beat the Ravens. OK, so those second & third parts aren't happening. But you know they'd love nothing more than to at least ensure that their division rival won't make it into the playoffs, and that Kansas City homefield can get really freaking loud when they're trying to break Guinness records. I see the Chiefs winning this game behind a great effort from Jamaal Charles & ending San Diego's season. They won't get to extend their own season, but maybe if they didn't screw around in Oakland back in Week 12 things would be different. Even Dustin James can't deny that game started the tailspin.
Nah, I can't knock Dustin too much. He has great taste in t-shirts.
Jets at Dolphins (-5.5): Dolphins can get to 9 wins here, but have been eliminated from the playoffs due to various tie-breakers. So their fans might want to hang out with Young Jet Fan this week.
The last game between these teams stunk, and this game doesn't matter. I'll take the Jets & the points. Godspeed Rex Ryan...you will be missed by New York headline writers.
Bears at Vikings (-6.5): You know how we look back at the 1983 NFL Draft & wonder how in the hell Todd Blackledge was taken ahead of Jim Kelly & Dan Marino? Or how we we wonder how Marino fell all the way to 27th, near the end of the first round? Oh sure, at the time there were plenty of explanations for this. Mel Kiper & all the draft experts around in 1983 probably thought it made perfect sense. But man does hindsight make them all look like a bunch of dumbasses.
Now I'm not saying Teddy Bridgewater is Jim Kelly or Dan Marino. But I am saying that Johnny Manziel is pretty darn close to Todd Blackledge, and people will look back & laugh at the idea that Johnny Football was taken ahead of Touchdown Teddy & most of the draft experts thought it made sense. Has Mike Mayock issued a public apology yet for all of the horrible things he said about Bridgewater before the draft? He needs to get on that.
The point is that Teddy's doing all right for a rookie. More than all right, as the last rookie QB to complete more than seventy percent of his passes in four straight games was...well...nobody. He still needs to work on his deep ball, but it's tough to do that when you don't have an offensive line or receivers that can get downfield in the limited amount of time they're given. Minnesota's coaching staff has been very supportive of Teddy, which is one thing he has over a ton of people in the league...including Jay Cutler!
Yup, there's the segue. Cutler is once again Chicago's starting quarterback this week since Jimmy Claussen got a concussion against the Lions. What, was Caleb Hanie unavailable? I had completely forgotten that Cutler was the highest paid player in the NFL this season until everybody in the world brought it up this week. How were Bears fans actually defending this ridiculousness before the season? Talk about living in denial, and I ain't talking about the river in Egypt. I think the Vikings win this game close, but the Bears will keep it close because that's how their season's gone.
Raiders at Broncos (-14.5): Prior to the Broncos/Bengals game I jested with Broncos fans about how I saw Peyton Manning grimace on the sidelines so that meant he wasn't 100%. Broncos fans took exception to this since I'm an outsider, but after Monday night now everybody's wondering what's going on with Peyton Manning. He's never exactly been Mr. January as it is, now he's looking every bit of 38 years old in December. (With the exception of the 3rd quarter where he looked good as ever. But I'm sure an NFL team wouldn't pump a guy full of painkillers during halftime or anything like that. No never.) The Broncos are still going to be pretty tough to beat in Denver during their first postseason game, but beyond that? Eh.
Denver needs to win this game so they can hold on to that 1st round bye, so I think the Broncos take care of business here. But...I also think the Raiders can get within 14.
Cardinals at 49ers (-6): There's a 99.99999999999999999% chance that this will be Jim Harbaugh's last game as San Francisco 49ers head coach. The 49ers are currently on a 4-game losing streak & have only come within ten points in one of those games: last week's OT loss to the Chargers in a game that Fox News was projecting they had locked up by the end of the 1st quarter. Basically what I'm saying is this line's kinda funny...except, man did you see the Cardinals last week against Seattle? Not having Carson Palmer's starting to catch up with them, and I'm sorry, but I still don't think Drew Stanton's a guy that can manage games well enough to take this team deep in the playoffs.
It's not Drew Stanton this week, it's Logan Thomas. I'm not sure who's better between Logan Thomas or Connor West. They both might be better than Johnny Manziel. In any event, it's gonna be ugly. 49ers should be able to cover this because I can't see Arizona scoring a ton of points in this game. They could still get the 1 seed if they win, Seattle loses & Detroit beats Green Bay...BUT I'M AFRAID I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS!
That ain't happening.
Rams at Seahawks (-12.5): Seattle had that Super Bowl hangover thing going for about half a season, but now they're looking like a team that's not going to be beat. Stout defense, Marshawn Lynch running around all over the place, Russell Wilson quietly becoming one of the top quarterbacks in the league while everybody pays attention to Beast Mode & the defense...it's gotta be pretty scary for everybody else in the NFC to know that after the Seahawks get revenge on St. Louis, the road to the Super Bowl will go through Seattle.
Lions at Packers (-7.5): Winner of this game wins the NFC North & gets a first round bye, so there's quite a bit on the line here. The only way the winner won't get a first round bye is if there isn't a winner and there's a tie. How awesome would that be? It's not going to happen though. I think the Packers win this game because Detroit hasn't won in Green Bay since the Magic Man Don Majkowski was starting for the Packers. The question is if the Lions defense can shut Aaron Rodgers down enough to make it close. I'ma say no because Rodgers needs to have a good enough week so people don't go crazy & start voting for defensive players for MVP. Packers it is then.
Panthers at Falcons (-4): I actually see people out there wondering why this game which will decide the NFC South Champion will not be the Sunday Night Football game. Let me show you why:
Now do you understand? NBC isn't going to put this shitshow in prime time, for heaven's sake. They'll take a team with a massive national fanbase & the Pittsburgh Steelers over this game any day of the week, especially Sunday. One of these teams will get into the playoffs and it'll be a thing. I hope it's the Panthers because Jeremy Lambert gloating about it on Twitter would be pretty funny.
Bengals at Steelers (-3.5): You knew it had to come down to this. Sunday night. Game 256. Bengals. Steelers. Winner is AFC North Champion. Loser goes on the road in the wild card round. The Bengals shocking the world & beating Denver on Monday night in PRIME TIME takes a tiny bit of drama out, as NBC obviously assumed that the Bengals would lose & would be fighting for their playoff lives. It was still the right choice for the final game though, as Detroit never wins in Green Bay & nobody wants to watch the NFC South Championship Game.
Bengals vs. Steelers is a rivalry. But if we're being honest, and I'm always honest, it's pretty one-sided. The Steelers have won 55 games while the Bengals have won 34. Pittsburgh has six Super Bowl championships. Cincinnati lost two to Joe Montana. Pittsburgh has 20 divisional championships while Cincinnati has 8. The Steelers dominated the 70s, 90s, 00s & this decade so far, but the Bengals got the 80s! Heck, the Bengals aren't even the Steelers' biggest rivals. Pittsburgh fans will tell you that the Ravens games are more important, and the Steelers have been playing the Browns for a much longer period of time. Some old school Bengals fans will claim that the Bengals vs. Browns rivalry over Ohio is bigger, especially since Paul Brown started the Bengals franchise after being run out of Cleveland by Art Modell. And, frankly, Bengals vs. Browns is a lot closer. Steelers vs. Browns is closer.
What I can say in support of the rivalry from the perspective of a Bengals fan is that there isn't a football team I hate more than the Pittsburgh Steelers. A lot of people whine & complain about the Patriots dominating media coverage & getting favortism from the NFL. A lot of people hate how the Dallas Cowboys have the label of "America's Team". Neither the Patriots or the Cowboys get on my nerves a fourth as much as the Pittsburgh Steelers do. I despise them with the fire of a thousand suns. I can say that most Bengals fans feel the same way that I do. Sure, we don't like the Browns & we're not too fond of the Ravens either. And yeah, the "national" teams like the Patriots get on our nerves too. But our Steeler hate is on a whole different level.
It's very comparable to rivalries that my other favorite teams have. The Cincinnati Reds vs. the St. Louis Cardinals. The Louisville Cardinals vs. the Kentucky Wildcats. All of these disputes have a couple of things in common: while the Steelers, Cardinals & Wildcats have had proud traditions & it's easy to say that their fans rest on those laurels that they weren't even around to celebrate...they've also had pretty good runs of success lately. The Steelers won two Super Bowls in the 2000s, I've lost count of how many times St. Louis has made it to the World Series over the past ten years, and Kentucky keeps landing the best players in the nation. It's irritating. It's a situation I keep finding myself in as a fan of teams that represent all that is good in America against teams that represent all that is wrong with America. St. Louis represents the sanctimonious "family values" & backwards thinking that keeps us from getting ahead as a nation & getting into the 21st century. Kentucky represents the greed & the arrogance that makes the world hate us.
I will at least give the Steelers & their fans credit for one thing...unlike St. Louis & Kentucky teams & fans, they accept & embrace their role as the villains. They know they're evil. They know that they're the Empire. They're not deluded into thinking they're right & everybody else is wrong & the world is against them...they know that the world is on their side & the system is at their feet. Everything has broken their way this season. Big Ben has been a powerhouse. Le'Veon Bell has been the best running back in the league & Antonio Brown has been the best wide receiver. The defense hasn't screwed things up. This Steeler team could easily run the table the rest of the way & most of us wouldn't be surprised.
Yes, I was wrong when I laughed at Jeremy Lambert before the season began. I underestimated the Pittsburgh offense. As good as the Bengals have been for most of this season and as good as they were Monday night, I just can't see them going into Pittsburgh & getting the same result. The Steelers will win this game & get the 3 seed. May God have mercy on our souls.
Last Week: 11-4-1
Season Record: 117-117-6
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