There is a lot of fallout from Super Bowl 49, and while it would be easy to write 1,000 plus words on Tom Brady and Bill Belichick’s legacy, Pete Carroll’s terrible call, the emergence of two guys you never heard of before the game, Richard Sherman’s facial reactions, the lack of concussion protocol, etc… that’s just not what we do here at the Ultimate Football Blog.
What do we do?
We get exclusive interviews with Katy Perry. THAT’S WHAT WE DO!
Jeremy Lambert: First off, thanks for joining us Katy. You did a great job opening up halftime for Missy Elliott.
Katy Perry: THANKS BOO!
JL: I have to ask the question that is on everyone’s mind. Why didn’t you show more cleavage during your performance?
KP: I didn’t want to be accused of overinflation. I also wanted to show off my legs. Cause Taylor Swift has nothing on me.
JL: Well she’s got seven Grammy awards on you, but continue.
KP: Thanks. That’s really all I had to say about the topic.
JL: Oh. Ok. Well let’s move on to the game. What did you think about Pete Carroll’s decision to throw the ball on the one-yard line instead of running it with Marshawn Lynch?
KP: Pete Carroll has balls. And I love a man with balls. I would’ve given it to Lynch just so he didn’t get fined, but I admire Pete Carroll taking a risk. I myself am a risk taker. I took a risk with the dancing sharks. And it paid off because no one remembers the rest of my performance.
JL: Do you think Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all-time following his fourth Super Bowl victory?
KP: Absolutely. I’ve been watching football for one years now and Brady is definitely the best. He has great hair and a nice smile. But he’s also a very intense guy. He has a feisty side. I bet he’s crazy in bed. Gisele is a very lucky woman.
JL: Have you ever talked to Bill Belichick?
KP: OH MY GOD! He just texted me like an hour ago saying he wished upon my floating star at halftime for a Patriots victory. AND IT CAME TRUE! The man truly is a coaching genius. While everyone else was wondering why I covered my boobs, he was thinking outside the box and wishing upon my boobs on the star.
JL: What did you think about the play of Chris Matthews?
KP: I always thought he played baseball cause I’ve seen the commercials of him talking about Hardball, which is usually a baseball term since those balls are hard. But now that I know he plays football, I think he’s really good. And tall.
JL: Did you feel bad for Richard Sherman on the sideline after Wilson’s interception?
KP: I was heartbroken. I love Richard. He’s an in your face type of player. I wish he would trim his hair a little because that can get in your way when Richard is in your face, but I still love Richard. I don’t even mind that he spits a little when he talks. A little spit coming out of Richard never bothered me. I never want to see a sad Richard and when I do, I always want to work hard to cheer him up.
JL: Do you think Julian Edelman should’ve been allowed to play after suffering a concussion?
KP: That’s a hard hitting question. I know what it’s like to play injured. I’ve had to perform through broken nails and headaches and the wrong color hair, but I’m a performer, so I tough it out. That’s what Julian did. He toughed it out. Concussions are a serious issue, but now he has the entire offseason to heal up. He didn’t want to let his team down. I applaud him.
JL: What was your favorite play of the game?
KP: Definitely when Gronk scored. I love when he scores and then spikes the football. I love a good Gronking.
JL: Have you ever partied with Johnny Manziel?
KP: Last Friday Night.
JL: Thanks for your time, Katy.
KP: Thank you. This year has been so amazing. From being on that ESPN show with the old guys to performing at the Super Bowl and of course hosting to the Ultimate Football Blog Awards. I’ve never been around footballs so much in my life.
As a bonus, I was also able to snag an exclusive interview with…THE DEAD NATIONWIDE KID!!!!!!
JL: Thanks for joining us.
Dead Nationwide Kid: I will never get to do a proper interview.
JL: What did you think of Super Bowl 49?
DNK: I never got to watch Super Bowl 49.
JL: Oh. Well that kind of ruins this interview.
DNK: Because I died.
No comments:
Post a Comment