The NFL season starts Thursday, which means you’re going to read a bunch of previews in order to gain insight on all 32 teams. Let me save you some time. Over the next couple of days, I’m going to go division-by-division and tell you why each team will win the Super Bowl and why they won’t. Next up is the NFC North.
Green Bay Packers
Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback in football, they’re a team with no real weakness, they’ll probably have the best offense in the league, Aaron Rodgers stays healthy.
Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: People realize Mike McCarthy is overrated, Oliva Munn dumps Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers gets hurt, they miss Jordy Nelson more than anyone thought they would, their defense can’t quite hold it together.
Chicago Bears
Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Jay Cutler gets along with his receivers, John Fox coaches with a chip on his shoulder, Jay Cutler stops impregnating Kristin Cavallari, John Fox is able to turn around their defense, Matt Forte carries the ball 500 times.
Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Jay Cutler is their quarterback, John Fox can never win when it matters, their defense continues to suck, Matt Forte gets injured, Jay Cutler never changes his expression, their offensive line sucks.
Minnesota Vikings
Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Adrian Peterson leads the league in rushing, Teddy Bridgewater is even better with Adrian Peterson on the field, Mike Zimmer puts Mike Wallace in his place, their defense is really good, they might have the best secondary in football.
Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Mike Wallace quits on this team, Adrian Peterson is a shell of his former self, Teddy Bridgewater regresses, they struggle on the road.
Detroit Lions
Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Calvin Johnson is healthy, Matthew Stafford finally figures it all out, their defense doesn’t miss Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairly as much as everyone thinks they will.
Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Jim Caldwell is a zombie, Matthew Stafford is still Matthew Stafford, they play in Detroit, their special teams suck, their defense isn’t as good as last year.
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