Pro Football Focus's Top Graded NFL Players: Week Three (Offense)

I've made it no secret that I'm a huge fan of the website ProFootballFocus.com. For those of you unfamiliar with PFF, it's hands down the best website to go to for advanced stats as far as it pertains to the game of football. These guys spend countless hours watching tape and keeping track of every single stat under the sun. It's hands down one of the best resources to go to for any football fan.

Of course, it doesn't come without a little bit of controversy either. Just this week, Pro Football Focus made waves when they released their grades for week 3 and only gave Aaron Rodgers (24 of 35 for 333 yards and 5 TD's) a 0.7 grade for the week. In case you don't know how PFF's grades work, the higher the number....the better the performance (I know, it's freaking rocket science people). That basically means PFF graded Rodgers as a little bit better than average in his dominating performance against the Chiefs. Due to the heat that came with the grade, PFF released a statement explaining why Rodgers graded so low for the week and it actually made a little bit of sense. But still, some people are going to swear by PFF's grades and some people are going to continue to side-eye them and that's what makes this column so fun.

So as you all know, every week here at THE Ultimate Sports Blog, you will see Pro Football Focus's top graded players for the week, broken into different categories. That's how much we love you guys. Want to win an NFL argument with a friend? Bookmark these columns. Trust me, it will help.


*As always, snap count is a factor in the rankings.

Top Graded Quarterbacks:

1. Carson Palmer (Arizona Cardinals)

2. Matt Ryan (Atlanta Falcons)

3. Andy Dalton (Cincinnati Bengals)

4. Tom Brady (New England Patriots)

5. Cam Newton (Carolina Panthers)

Hot Takes: NFL Week Three

Fresh out of the week three oven, here are your NFL hot takes.

1. Josh Norman is a Top 5 Cornerback

Cornerback is one of the toughest positions in the NFL to actually rate. They don’t rack up sacks or tackles for losses, they don’t make a ton of big hits, and 70-80% of the game is played away from them. Most great cornerbacks are considered great because they shutdown the top receiver on the other team and come up with timely interceptions. 

That’s what Carolina’s Josh Norman has done in the first three weeks.

On Sunday, with the Saints driving for the potential game winning touchdown, Norman made a catch that everyone would still be talking about today had a wide receiver made it. He went full extension in the air and snatched the ball with two hands, keeping control as the receiver tried to finger it away, and maintaining control as he hit the ground. The interception sealed the game for the Panthers. 

Norman now has two interceptions, one a pick six, and a forced fumble on the season. 

When people tell you the top cornerbacks in the league, they’ll likely name Richard Sherman, Darrelle Revis, and Aqib Talib. The other two spots in the top five are up for debate. I’m here to tell you that Josh Norman belongs in one of those two spots. He started coming into his own at the end of last season and now he’s become a bonafide shutdown corner who can make the big play. He hasn’t been matched up with a true #1 wide receiver this year, but when that happens, my money is on Norman to keep that receiver in line.

NFL Round-Up: Week Three

Week Three of the NFL season is officially in the books. Is everyone happy with the outcomes? Good. Because I'm not. I'm not going to get into details exactly, but I'm not happy with my favorite football teams right now and I would be counting down the days to basketball season....but my Portland Trailblazers are set to be one of the worst teams in the NBA this season.

I see a lot of this in my future.

Anyway. It's time to get to the goods.

So.......

Sit back........

Grab a beer............

Put the kids outside...........

Tell the wife to leave you alone.........

IT'S TIME............................................

NFL Round-Up

Week 3

College Football Round-Up: Week Four

Week four of the college football season is in the books and I'm highly depressed right now. Why, you ask? Because of this.....

No introduction this week due to a heavy case of depression from watching horrible Oregon Duck football this weekend.

Anyway.............

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WAITING FOR?

LETTTTTTTTT'S GET READY TO FUMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLEEEEEEEEEEEE...........

Slammin' Stevie Cook's Week 3 NFL Picks!

Hi, hello and welcome to Week 3 of the National Football League! I'm Slammin' Stevie Cook, and remember when I said that Vegas would do well last week? They sure did. All kinds of crazy upsets led to us pretty well screwing the pooch. All you can do after a week like that is dust yourself off & get right back on the horse this week. Let's hook em up!


Thursday, September 24


Washington at N.Y. Giants (-3.5): The NFC East has become a very confusing place lately. The Cowboys will be missing both Tony Romo & Dez Bryant for an extended period of time. The Eagles...well, nobody's really sure what's going on with the Eagles but we can tell that they're not very good right now. Dallas & Philadelphia were expected to decide the division crown amongst themselves while the Giants languished in mediocrity & Washington was more of a dumpster fire than a football team. Now? Who knows. The NFC East could very well be this year's NFC South, with the division winner struggling to reach .500.

The Giants have at least been close in their two losses while Washington's actually managed to win a game in convincing fashion against a team a lot of people were hyping as something after Week 1. You can't count these teams out yet, and this early-season Thursday night game could be big in deciding a playoff spot. It could also be ugly as sin. I fully expect a low-scoring game here, and even though the Giants might win I think Washington is the smart bet.

Pro Football Focus's Top Graded NFL Players: Week Two (Defense)

I've made it no secret that I'm a huge fan of the website ProFootballFocus.com. For those of you unfamiliar with PFF, it's hands down the best website to go to for advanced stats as far as it pertains to the game of football. These guys spend countless hours watching tape and keeping track of every single stat under the sun. It's hands down one of the best resources to go to for any football fan.

Oh, so you think "Tight End #87" is a great player just because he catches TD passes every week? What you might not know about "Tight End #87" is that he's a horrible blocker, doesn't see that many snaps, and is ineffective running the majority of his routes. Had you known this information, you would probably consider "Tight End #87" a "less than average" player instead of an "above average" player. What the average NFL fan sees, these guys might see something different and that's why I love them. They really give you the full meal deal of NFL stats and it's unfortunate that they are getting rid of their subscription based stats, because a lot of NFL writers currently use them to back up their arguments (you tend to read something like "Romo graded out positively with a +5.6 according to ProFootballFocus.com" in a lot of columns these days), but that's a complaint for a different day.

Every week here at THE Ultimate Sports Blog, you will see Pro Football Focus's top graded players for the week, broken into different categories. That's how much we love you guys. Want to win an NFL argument with a friend? Bookmark these columns. Trust me, it will help.

Top Graded 4-3 Defensive Ends:

1. Brian Robison (Minnesota Vikings)

2. Vic Beasley (Atlanta Falcons)

3. Cliff Avril (Seattle Seahawks)

4. Ezekiel Ansah (Detroit Lions)

4. Jared Odrick (Jacksonville Jaguars)

Pro Football Focus's Top Graded NFL Players: Week Two (Offense)

I've made it no secret that I'm a huge fan of the website ProFootballFocus.com. For those of you unfamiliar with PFF, it's hands down the best website to go to for advanced stats as far as it pertains to the game of football. These guys spend countless hours watching tape and keeping track of every single stat under the sun. It's hands down one of the best resources to go to for any football fan.

Oh, so you think "Tight End #87" is a great player just because he catches TD passes every week? What you might not know about "Tight End #87" is that he's a horrible blocker, doesn't see that many snaps, and is ineffective running the majority of his routes. Had you known this information, you would probably consider "Tight End #87" a "less than average" player instead of an "above average" player. What the average NFL fan sees, these guys might see something different and that's why I love them. They really give you the full meal deal of NFL stats and it's unfortunate that they are getting rid of their subscription based stats, because a lot of NFL writers currently use them to back up their arguments (you tend to read something like "Romo graded out positively with a +5.6 according to ProFootballFocus.com" in a lot of columns these days), but that's a complaint for a different day.

Every week here at THE Ultimate Sports Blog, you will see Pro Football Focus's top graded players for the week, broken into different categories. That's how much we love you guys. Want to win an NFL argument with a friend? Bookmark these columns. Trust me, it will help.

Top Graded Quarterbacks:

1. Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh Steelers)

2. Tom Brady (New England Patriots)

3. Teddy Bridgewater (Minnesota Vikings)

4. Colin Kaepernick (San Francisco 49ers)

5. Carson Palmer (Arizona Cardinals)

5. Matt Ryan (Atlanta Falcons)

Hot Takes: NFL Week Two

Another NFL week in the books, which means it’s time for some HOT TAKES! Fresh from the week two oven.

1. Cowboys Win, Romo Gets Hurt

The Dallas Cowboys are 2-0. Unfortunately for them, they’ll be without Tony Romo and Dez Bryant for at least two months. Bryant got hurt in the opening week against the Giants and Romo was hurt on Sunday against the Eagles. Do you know who the Cowboys back-up quarterback is? It’s Brandon Weeden. A 31-year-old in his fourth season who has the Browns stank on him. 

Here’s the good news for the Cowboys: they’re in the NFC East. I thought the NFC East was going to be pretty strong this year, and while it’s only week two, this division looks dreadful. The Giants are blowing games, the Redskins still lack talent despite a good win over St. Louis, and I don’t know what’s going on in Philadelphia. The Cowboys still have an elite offensive line that will give Weeden time and make way for Joseph Randle and their defense has played well in the first two weeks.

The Cowboys have upcoming games against the Atlanta Falcons and New Orleans Saints. The NFC South is supposedly the weakest conference in the league, so those should be easy wins, right? Then they have the Patriots before heading into a bye week. At worst they should be 3-2, but they could easily be 4-1 going into the bye. Not having their two best offensive players is going to hurt, but hey, they let their top running back walk after this past season and that’s worked out alright for them. 

And Cowboys fans, for years you’ve slagged Romo despite his impressive numbers. Well, now you’re stuck with Brandon Weeden. A ginger quarterback to go along with a ginger coach. Enjoy. 

NFL Round-Up: Week Two

Week Two of the NFL season is officially in the books and what a disturbing week it was. Any week where the Raiders beat my Super Bowl pick, the Jaguars win, the Bucs go on the road and whoop the Saints and a Chip Kelly team can't move the ball is definitely a weird week in the National Football League. There's no reason to beat around the bush with an introduction. When we have a week like this, we have to get to the goods immediately.

So.......

Sit back........

Grab a beer............

Put the kids outside...........

Tell the wife to leave you alone.........

IT'S TIME............................................

NFL Round-Up

Week 2

College Football Round-Up: Week Three

Week three of the college football season is officially in the books. That means you know what it's time for! It's time for your favorite column to read on Sunday mornings. It's the one column that makes you grab your favorite cup of coffee, nestle right up to your lap top, and get in depth with before the NFL games start and take your full attention for the rest of the day. Right? OK, maybe not....but it's wishful thinking on my part.

Anyway, before we get to the NFL games and before I become a millionaire on Fan Duel, it's time to reflect back on all the madness that went down on College Football Saturday. With some huge match-ups to look forward to with playoff implications (Stanford/USC, Alabama/Ole Miss), this definitely wasn't the week you wanted to miss when it comes to college football. The good news is, if you missed anything....it's all recapped right here for you, absolutely free.

Who's your daddy now?

That probably wasn't the best thing to say in that spot.....

Let's just act like it never happened, OK?

Anyway.............

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WAITING FOR?

LETTTTTTTTT'S GET READY TO FUMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLEEEEEEEEEEEE...........

Slammin' Stevie Cook's Week 2 NFL Picks!

Hi, hello & welcome to Week 2 of the National Football League! I'm Slammin' Stevie Cook, and I wish I bet some money last week because I had a great record & Vegas got taken to the cleaners! You know what that means though...the wise guys are gonna be back on their game this week. And sure enough there's some dicey looking spreads here. I'll do my best to guide you through them though, so let's hook 'em up!

Thursday, September 17

Denver at Kansas City (-3): Denver opened as the 1.5 point favorite here, but even though they won against Baltimore in Week 1 it seems like everybody's jumping off that bandwagon already. You can see why if you saw Peyton Manning's performance. We were hoping he would bounce back from his troubles in the second half of last season and look like something close to the Peyton Manning of old...he's 39 so we weren't expecting the Peyton Manning of old, but something resembling a good quarterback didn't seem unreasonable. We got the Peyton Manning from the second half of last season. He can joke about injury reports & poke fun at the media for suggesting something's wrong with him all he wants, but the bottom line is that he doesn't look like a healthy, top-notch NFL quarterback. He looks every bit of 39 years old & every bit of done.

Fortunately the Denver defense was good enough to carry the day against Joe Flacco & company, and going forward that's going to have to be how Denver wins games. They get a tougher test in a short week against Kansas City's offense, which looked damn good in the first half against a Houston defense that got a ton of hype over the offseason & featured one of the best defensive players that I've ever seen. Travis Kelce has Dustin James already writing his Hall of Fame induction speech. They took the foot off the gas in the second half & the defense let Ryan Mallet get the Texans back in the game, which is disconcerting but nothing that isn't fixable.

I still like a lot of what Denver has to offer & don't think we've seen their best. I don't like them on a short week in one of the league's toughest playing environments after a game against one of the most physical teams in the league. I see the Chiefs showing up big time & getting a statement-making win.

Pro Football Focus's Top Graded NFL Players: Week One (Defense)

I've made it no secret that I'm a huge fan of the website ProFootballFocus.com. For those of you unfamiliar with PFF, it's hands down the best website to go to for advanced stats as far as it pertains to the game of football. These guys spend countless hours watching tape and keeping track of every single stat under the sun. It's hands down one of the best resources to go to for any football fan.

Oh, so you think "Tight End #87" is a great player just because he catches TD passes every week? What you might not know about "Tight End #87" is that he's a horrible blocker, doesn't see that many snaps, and is ineffective running the majority of his routes. Had you known this information, you would probably consider "Tight End #87" a "less than average" player instead of an "above average" player. What the average NFL fan sees, these guys might see something different and that's why I love them. They really give you the full meal deal of NFL stats and it's unfortunate that they are getting rid of their subscription based stats, because a lot of NFL writers currently use them to back up their arguments (you tend to read something like "Romo graded out positively with a +5.6 according to ProFootballFocus.com" in a lot of columns these days), but that's a complaint for a different day.

Every week here at THE Ultimate Sports Blog, you will see Pro Football Focus's top graded players for the week, broken into different categories. That's how much we love you guys. Want to win an NFL argument with a friend? Bookmark these columns. Trust me, it will help.

*Snap count is taken into consideration when doing the rankings

Top Graded 4-3 Defensive Ends:

1. Robert Ayers (New York Giants)

2. Cameron Jordan (New Orleans Saints)

3. Robert Quinn (St. Louis Rams)

4. Cliff Avril (Seattle Seahawks)

5. Carlos Dunlap (Cincinnati Bengals)

Hot Takes: NFL Week One

THE Ultimate Sports Blog correspondent Jeremy Lambert is currently on vacation, but that doesn't stop him from churning out columns. That's just how we roll here at The USB......


Last year for The Ultimate Sports Blog I did a weekly comedy power rankings. This year, I’ve decided to mix it up a bit because, truthfully, those became a hassle by the end of the year and I just had more to say. So, instead of ranking various happenings during the week, I’ve decided to look at the most important talking points from the previous weekend and give my thoughts on the subjects. Plus some quick hits at the bottom. Talking points are in no particular order.

The New England Patriots Are Pissed Off

Every year the Super Bowl Champions open at home on Thursday night against a worthy opponent. And every year the Super Bowl Champions seem to win. In fact, since 2006, the champs have only lost twice on opening night. In 2011, the Giants lost at home against the Cowboys and in 2012 the Ravens, playing on the road due to a scheduling conflict with the Baltimore Orioles, lost to the Broncos. Otherwise, the champs open at home and they win. This year was no different as the Patriots defeated the Steelers. This wouldn’t be a huge deal, except that the offseason wasn’t about how great the Patriots are because they just won the Super Bowl. It was about how they cheated in a blowout victory and how Tom Brady covered up evidence of said cheating. Less than a week before the game, the Patriots didn’t even know if Brady would be playing.

Brady played, thanks in large part to Roger Goodell continuing his run of incompetence, and played like the best quarterback in league history.

Of course, he didn’t throw 4 touchdowns and complete 25 out of 32 passes because he’s Tom Brady, he’s played in the same system his entire career, and he has Rob Gronkowski. He did all that because HE’S PISSED OFF! THE PATRIOTS ARE PISSED OFF! GOODELL HAS TARNISHED THEIR GOOD NAME AND NOW THEY ARE PISSED OFF!!!!!

The Patriots are a great team. They’re going to be Super Bowl contenders once again. Hell, they’re my pick to win the Super Bowl. But it’s not because they’re pissed off and playing with a chip on their shoulder. Bill Belichick and Brady always look like they have a chip on their shoulder when they’re on the field. They didn’t need Goodell to turn that chip into a bag. The Patriots aren’t pissed off about Goodell going after them and Brady getting suspended and then unsuspended. They’re rejoicing the fact that Goodell is an idiot and they’re playing great football. Just like they’ve done for the past 10 years.

But if you’re someone who buys into stupid things like, “they’re really pissed off” then just wait until next week when they dismantle the Bills following an entire week of the Steelers bitching about their headsets not working properly.

Pro Football Focus's Top Graded NFL Players: Week One (Offense)

I've made it no secret that I'm a huge fan of the website ProFootballFocus.com. For those of you unfamiliar with PFF, it's hands down the best website to go to for advanced stats as far as it pertains to the game of football. These guys spend countless hours watching tape and keeping track of every single stat under the sun. It's hands down one of the best resources to go to for any football fan.

Oh, so you think "Tight End #87" is a great player just because he catches TD passes every week? What you might not know about "Tight End #87" is that he's a horrible blocker, doesn't see that many snaps, and is ineffective running the majority of his routes. Had you known this information, you would probably consider "Tight End #87" a "less than average" player instead of an "above average" player. What the average NFL fan sees, these guys might see something different and that's why I love them. They really give you the full meal deal of NFL stats and it's unfortunate that they are getting rid of their subscription based stats, because a lot of NFL writers currently use them to back up their arguments (you tend to read something like "Romo graded out positively with a +5.6 according to ProFootballFocus.com" in a lot of columns these days), but that's a complaint for a different day.

Every week here at THE Ultimate Sports Blog, you will see Pro Football Focus's top graded players for the week, broken into different categories. That's how much we love you guys. Want to win an NFL argument with a friend? Bookmark these columns. Trust me, it will help.

Top Graded Quarterbacks:

1. Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay Packers)

2. Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh Steelers)

3. Tom Brady (New England Patriots)

4. Andy Dalton (Cincinnati Bengals)

5. Marcus Mariota (Tennessee Titans)

NFL Round-Up: Week One

IT'S FINALLY NFL SEASON! ARE YOU AS EXCITED AS WE ARE?????? YOU SHOULD BE!!!!!!!

Yes, indeed. The NFL is finally back. Everything is right with the world again. Some of you may remember last season here at The Ultimate Football Blog The Ultimate Sports Blog, I did a weekly round-up of all the action in the NFL from the past week and it was easily the most popular thing on the blog last year. The good news is, the NFL round-up is back in full force. The bad news is, it's going to be a different format this year and I'm not entirely sure how it's going to work out, so bear with me. Last year, I basically did just quick recaps of every single game from that week. This year though? We have expanded the NFL round-up column to feature the top fantasy performers from that week as well as a set of power rankings. Why? Because fantasy football and power rankings are two things that readers absolutely eat up and it also helps expand the blog to cover as much information as possible (that's the reason we do this damn thing here....).

So.......

Sit back........

Grab a beer............

Put the kids outside...........

Tell the wife to leave you alone.........

IT'S TIME............................................

NFL Round-Up

Week 1

College Football Round-Up: Week Two

Week two of the college football season is officially in the books! While it wasn't the most exciting week in college football, we still had some good match-ups (Oregon vs. Michigan State) that made it worth sitting around your house all-day doing absolutely nothing but watch football games (the perfect Saturday as I call it).

However, if you were too busy and missed all the action (what the hell is wrong with you?), don't fret. We have you covered. Everything you need to know about the action in week two is right here on these wonderful pages.

SO.........

LET'S STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH...........

AND............

LET'S GET READY TO.......................

FUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBLEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

NFL PREDICTIONS!!!!!!

Oh, you thought we were done with predictions just because the NFL season has kicked off already? Well, you would be wrong! Today we are joined by our good friend Jeremy Lambert and he is here to offer up his thoughts on how the NFL season is going to play out. Make sure to track him down on Twitter and call him nasty names and stuff like that. He's a big fan of tomfoolery.....

NFC North - Green Bay Packers. Pretty easy pick, even with the loss of Jordy Nelson. The Vikings are a nice sleeper pick and the Lions offense should be really good, but the Packers are head and shoulders above the competition.

NFC East - New York Giants. This could be the most competitive division in the NFC with three teams who have Super Bowl aspirations. I’m going with the Giants because I believe in OBJ, I think Eli will have a strong season, and Tom Coughlin is on the hot seat, which means he always coaches well. The Redskins will suck while the Eagles and Cowboys will be in it until the end.

NFC South - Carolina Panthers. I liked this team a lot more when Kelvin Benjamin was healthy, but they’re still slightly better than every team in the division thanks to their defense. The Falcons will make things tough on them though.

NFC West - Seattle Seahawks. Easy choice here. The 49ers are expected to fall off, the Cardinals lost some key players on defense, and the Rams don’t have enough on offense. The Seahawks are not only the best team in the division, they’re the best team in the conference.

AFC North - Baltimore Ravens. A very competitive division with three teams challenging for the crown. The Steelers offense might end up being the best in the league and the Bengals have been consistently good over the last few seasons, but the Ravens are a well-balanced and well-coached team with just enough weapons on both sides of the ball.

AFC East - New England Patriots. As long as they have Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, they’re going to rule this division. The Dolphins should be able to challenge them a little and the Bills might be sneaky good, but I never bet against B&B.

AFC South - Indianapolis Colts. And it won’t be close. If the Texans had a QB they might make things a little interesting, but they don’t and their defense won’t be able to do everything. The Jaguars and Titans are still in rebuilding mode.

AFC West - Denver Broncos. Peyton Manning isn’t what he once was, but he’s still good and their defense is outstanding. The Chiefs and Chargers will challenge them, but the Broncos have just too much firepower.

NFC Wild Card - Dallas Cowboys and Philadelphia Eagles. I can’t see anyone in the NFC South threatening here, the Vikings, Lions, and Rams will be in it until the final weeks, but the NFC East rules out.

AFC Wild Card - Miami Dolphins and Pittsburgh Steelers. Miami can’t take the crown from New England, but they still make the playoffs and the Steelers manage to hold off the Bengals for the final spot.

NFC Title Game - Green Bay Packers over Philadelphia Eagles. Eagles surprise everyone by making it this far, but the Packers win in a shootout.

AFC Title Game - New England Patriots over Denver Broncos. Manning vs. Brady. One last ride.

Super Bowl 50 - New England Patriots over Green Bay Packers. Because we all need that awkward moment between Goodell and Brady.

Will They Win The Super Bowl? AFC West Edition

The NFL season starts Thursday, which means you’re going to read a bunch of previews in order to gain insight on all 32 teams. Let me save you some time. Over the next couple of days, I’m going to go division-by-division and tell you why each team will win the Super Bowl and why they won’t. We end with the AFC West. 

Denver Broncos

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Peyton Manning gets to retire on top, their defense wins them a lot of games, their offensive line holds up, John Fox was the problem all along, John Elway is Eric Cartman’s father.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Peyton Manning is no longer a good quarterback, the offensive line forces Peyton Manning into early retirement, Gary Kubiak isn’t an upgrade over John Fox. 

Kansas City Chiefs

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Travis Kelce is Rob Gronkowski, their receivers catch a touchdown, Jamal Charles is unstoppable, their defense turns out to be the best in the league.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Alex Smith can’t throw the ball more than 15 yards, their defense gets banged up, their offensive line sucks, Andy Reid always chokes. 

San Diego Chargers

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Melvin Gordon gives the team a stable running game, Philip Rivers throws more touchdowns than times he’s caught cursing, it wasn’t PEDs that made Antonio Gates great last season, their secondary leads the league in interceptions.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Melvin Gordon sucks, their defensive line and linebackers aren’t good, Manti Te’o still has girlfriend problems, Philip Rivers has is money and doesn’t care anymore. 

Oakland Raiders

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Derek Carr is the truth, Amari Cooper is legit, Khalil Mack can play every defensive position.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: They’re the Radiers. 

Will They Win The Super Bowl? NFC West Edition

The NFL season starts Thursday, which means you’re going to read a bunch of previews in order to gain insight on all 32 teams. Let me save you some time. Over the next couple of days, I’m going to go division-by-division and tell you why each team will win the Super Bowl and why they won’t. Next up is the NFC West. 

Arizona Cardinals

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Carson Palmer stays healthy, Larry Fitzgerald is no longer a corpse, their defense plays above expectations, their offensive line turns into the best in football, Honey Badger don’t care, Patrick Peterson turns into the best cornerback in the league.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Carson Palmer gets hurt again, their defense sucks, their offensive line falls apart, obviously Carson Palmer will get hurt again. 

San Francisco 49ers

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: God wants to see a home team Super Bowl, Colin Kaepernick turns into Russell Wilson, everyone rallies together with the motto “Fuck Jim Harbaugh,” Colin Cowherd has the last laugh.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: everyone continues to retire, Anquan Boldin finally gets old, Colin Kaepernick really sucks without Jim Harbaugh, the team sucks. 

Seattle Seahawks

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: They have the best team on paper, they run the ball in every goal line situation, Kam Chancellor decides to show up, Russell Wilson stops counting his cash, Jimmy Graham stays healthy, teams throw at Richard Sherman with sorry receivers.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: It’s really tough to make three straight Super Bowls, everyone becomes money hungry, injuries pile up. 

St. Louis Rams

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: They finally have a healthy quarterback, Todd Gurley turns out to be the best player in the draft, their defensive line dominates.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Their offensive line gets Nick Foles injured, Todd Gurley is coming off a ACL injury, teams “dink and dunk” on their weak linebackers. 

Slammin' Stevie Cook's Week 1 NFL Picks!

Hi, hello & welcome back to the National Football League! I'm "Slammin" Stevie Cook, and it's time for us to stop talking about meaningless bullcrap and talk about actual by God football! 

FOOTBALL! FOOTBALL! FOOTBALL! Yeah buddy. Let's hook 'em up!

Thursday, September 10

Pittsburgh at New England (-7): The big NFL premiere features one of the most despised football teams in the league. An organization that's been known cheaters for years with the most hateable players, the most delusional fanbase, and ownership that thinks they alone run the league. And they're playing against the defending Super Bowl Champions, the New England Patriots. 

In case you haven't been paying attention during the off-season, there's been a bit of controversy surrounding the Patriots. We found out that some deflated footballs were used during last year's AFC Championship Game & Tom Brady might have been involved. So Roger Goodell suspended Brady for four games because deflating footballs is just as bad as using performance-enhancing drugs. He also fined the Patriots organization a ton of money & took away some draft picks because...well, we're not really sure. A report came out this week suggesting that the whole thing was a makeup call for Spygate. In any event, the Brady suspension went to court & the judge decided that Goodell was abusing his power, the NFL had no proof, and the suspension was nullified. 

So what matters here? Tom Brady is playing & the Patriots are pissed off. That doesn't bode well for the Steelers, who have no defense to speak of and won't have Le'Veon Bell playing because Le'Veon Bell likes the weed. I usually won't bet against the Steelers with this big of a spread, but I'm thinking the Patriots want to send a message to the rest of the league this week. And that message? "F*ck y'all."

Slammin Stevie Cook's NFL Predictions!

We here at THE Ultimate Sports Blog are happy to announce that ourselves and resident NFL pick'em expert "Slammin" Stevie Cook have agreed on a contract extension this season that will make Cook the highest paid NFL pick'em expert in his city. That is an outstanding accomplishment for both Mr. Cook and the wonderful city he currently resides in. Anyway, before he makes his long-awaited return this year and picks every single winner of every single NFL game it's time for......

"Slammin" Stevie Cook's NFL Predictions!

NFC 

West - Seahawks: The toughest division in the NFC gets a little less tough with the downfall of San Francisco. I think Arizona makes this division a battle just like they did last year, but Seattle's still too good on defense & the addition of Jimmy Graham upgrades the offense.

East - Cowboys: Speaking of division battles, I think the East will go down to the wire as well with Dallas & Philadelphia. I favor the Cowboys because even though Tony Romo is a common scapegoat among football fans, you can't tell me Sam Bradford is anywhere near his level.

North - Packers: You can't feel too good about Jordy Nelson being out for the year & Randall Cobb being banged up...oh, who am I kidding, it's Aaron Rodgers. And Eddie Lacy's there too if things get tricky. Green Bay's gonna be fine.

South - Falcons: It's the NFC South. Absolutely anybody could win this division, even Tampa Bay if Jameis Winston is a lot better than we think he is. I think Atlanta has the most talent on offense & as long as their defense doesn't completely shit the bed like they did too often last year they can make it to 8 wins.

AFC 

West - Chiefs: Probably my most risky pick here, but I like what Andy Reid & company are doing here. Alex Smith is steady, the addition of Jeremy Maclin & maturation of Travis Kelce should help the passing game, they still have Jammal Charles, and the defense can be pretty effective.

East - Patriots: Tom Brady is asking Roger Goodell to tell him how his ass tastes and he's playing all 16 games as I predicted. The Dolphins & Bills could be better than they have been in recent history but they won't be good enough to topple the Brady/Belichick Revenge Tour Part Infinity.

North - Ravens: They're the sexy pick to win it all, which might be the first time in recorded history that something sexy originated in Baltimore. They've done a damn good job of replacing all the people that got old and had to retire.
 
South - Colts: There's nobody else in this division even worth talking about. Even if Andrew Luck didn't get another guy to throw to in Andre Johnson & a consistent runner in Frank Gore, they'd be the easy pick here.

Wild Card Teams

AFC

Broncos: I might not have Denver winning the West, but I think Peyton's farewell tour leads to a wild card appearance. He'll be more like the Peyton of the first half of last season than the Peyton of the second.

Bengals: They are what they are. Good enough to get a playoff spot, not good enough to win a game once they get there. Pittsburgh is a sexy pick to get this spot or the North title, but their defense isn't good enough.

NFC

Cardinals: Just like last year, they make it in even though they won't beat the Seahawks. But they'll have a better QB than Ryan Lindley at the helm this time.

Vikings: Adrian Peterson returning makes all the difference here. Teddy Bridgewater will have more seasoning & weapons at his disposal, and Mike Zimmer will continue coaching up the defense. Don't sleep on these guys.


AFC Title Game: Patriots vs. Ravens

NFC Title Game: Packers vs. Seahawks

Nothing really new there, but what do you expect?

Super Bowl: Patriots over Packers

I made the Packers pick before the Nelson injury but I stand by it. The best way for this season to end is for Goodell to be forced to hand the Lombardi Trophy to Robert Kraft & company. Shades of when Pete Rozelle had to give Al Davis the trophy after Davis beat the NFL in court.

MVP: Andrew Luck, QB Indianapolis Colts

Luck will use his better weapons to have an even better season than he did in 2014. It won't matter in the postseason, but he'll put up some crazy stats in the regular season.

Defensive MVP: JJ Watt, DE Houston Texans

Because why not.

Rookie of the Year: Marcus Mariota, QB Tennessee Titans

I like what I've seen out of the kid so far. If the Titans can get to 6-8 wins or so, which is certainly possible with their weak schedule, Mariota will get the bulk of the credit.

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Lorenzo Mauldin, OLB New York Jets

Gonna go with some Louisville love here. Mauldin emerged from a difficult upbringing & is widely considered one of the highest-character football players out there. His heart will get him out on the field & making life difficult for quarterbacks.

Will They Win The Super Bowl? AFC South Edition

The NFL season starts Thursday, which means you’re going to read a bunch of previews in order to gain insight on all 32 teams. Let me save you some time. Over the next couple of days, I’m going to go division-by-division and tell you why each team will win the Super Bowl and why they won’t. Next up is the AFC South. 

Houston Texans

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: J.J. Watt is the best defensive player in the league, their entire defense is really good, they get average quarterback play, J.J. Watt plays quarterback, Jadeveon Clowney stays healthy.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: J.J. Watt gets hurt, their quarterback sucks, God hates Arian Foster.

Indianapolis Colts

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Andrew Luck takes the crown as best quarterback in the league, they have a really good offense, their defense plays average, their opponents don’t deflate the balls, they get home field advantage.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Andrew Luck keeps throwing more interceptions than touchdowns in the playoffs, their defense sucks, Andre Johnson and Frank Gore are washed up, Tom Brady. 

Jacksonville Jaguars

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: It was Julius Thomas who made Peyton Manning, Blake Bortles doesn’t suck after all, the team with the worst record gets to play in the Super Bowl.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: They suck.

Tennessee Titans

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Marcus Mariota is able to detach Dustin James from his nuts.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: They suck. 

Will They Win The Super Bowl? NFC South Edition

The NFL season starts Thursday, which means you’re going to read a bunch of previews in order to gain insight on all 32 teams. Let me save you some time. Over the next couple of days, I’m going to go division-by-division and tell you why each team will win the Super Bowl and why they won’t. Next up is the NFC South

Carolina Panthers

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Cam Newton improves his decision making, Luke Kuechly makes all the tackles, Jonathan Stewart stays healthy, Ron Rivera goes for it on every fourth down, Devin Funchess doesn’t play like a rookie, their offensive line manages to hold up, God loves me.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Ron Rivera never wins after a bye-week, their starting receivers are Philly Brown and Ted Ginn, Devin Funchess plays like a rookie, their offensive line gets Cam Newton killed, they can’t rush the passer, God hates me.

New Orleans Saints

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Drew Brees doesn’t have to throw the ball 50 times a game because they have a running attack, they play really well at home, Sean Payton is a good head coach, their defense plays pretty well.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Drew Brees is declining, their defense sucks, they play poorly on the road, they play good teams in the playoffs and not the NFC South.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Jameis Winston is legit, Mike Evans is legit, Lovie Smith can turn the defense around in his second year. 

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: They play good teams in the playoffs and not the NFC South, Jameis Winston is a rookie, Jameis Winston does stupid things on and off the field, their offensive line can’t protect Jameis Winston, Mike Evans hits a sophomore slump, Lovie Smith is a mediocre head coach.

Atlanta Falcons

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Matt Ryan plays great, Julio Jones is a top five receiver, Dan Quinn isn’t Mike Smith. 

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Matt Ryan can never seem to win when it matters, they played good teams in the playoffs and not the NFC South, Julio Jones gets hurts, their defense sucks, their offensive line isn’t good.

Will They Win The Super Bowl? AFC North Edition

The NFL season starts Thursday, which means you’re going to read a bunch of previews in order to gain insight on all 32 teams. Let me save you some time. Over the next couple of days, I’m going to go division-by-division and tell you why each team will win the Super Bowl and why they won’t. Next up is the AFC North.

Baltimore Ravens

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Joe Flacco is in playoff form, Steve Smith is icing fools up, their defense will be great as always, their rookie receivers turn out to be big contributors, they don’t have to deal with any Ray Rice nonsense, John Harbaugh is a better coach than his brother, Marc Trestman makes Joe Flacco even better.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Steve Smith kills the rookie receivers, Baltimore riots again and every home game is played in an empty stadium, Joe Flacco isn’t elite, Steve Smith kills Joe Flacco.

Cincinnati Bengals

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: A.J. Green stays healthy, Andy Dalton surpasses Ed Sheeran as America’s Favorite Ginger, Marvin Lewis gets fired, their offense plays up to potential.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Marvin Lewis is still their head coach, Andy Dalton is still a ginger, they are still the Cincinnati Bengals.

Pittsburgh Steelers

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: They have the best 1-2-3 combo in the league in Ben Roethlisberger, Le’Veon Bell, and Antonio Brown, the offensive line is able to keep Ben Roethlisberger on his feet, their defense isn’t as bad as expected

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Their defense sucks, Le’Veon Bell continues to value weed over football, Ben Roethlisberger continues to get beat up and they have to play Michael Vick.

Cleveland Browns

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Their offensive line is really good, their linebackers and secondary is pretty good, Johnny Manziel puts as much into football as he does partying. 

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: They have no quarterback, they have no running back, they have no receivers. 

Will They Win The Super Bowl? NFC North Edition

The NFL season starts Thursday, which means you’re going to read a bunch of previews in order to gain insight on all 32 teams. Let me save you some time. Over the next couple of days, I’m going to go division-by-division and tell you why each team will win the Super Bowl and why they won’t. Next up is the NFC North.

Green Bay Packers

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback in football, they’re a team with no real weakness, they’ll probably have the best offense in the league, Aaron Rodgers stays healthy.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: People realize Mike McCarthy is overrated, Oliva Munn dumps Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers gets hurt, they miss Jordy Nelson more than anyone thought they would, their defense can’t quite hold it together. 

Chicago Bears

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Jay Cutler gets along with his receivers, John Fox coaches with a chip on his shoulder, Jay Cutler stops impregnating Kristin Cavallari, John Fox is able to turn around their defense, Matt Forte carries the ball 500 times.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Jay Cutler is their quarterback, John Fox can never win when it matters, their defense continues to suck, Matt Forte gets injured, Jay Cutler never changes his expression, their offensive line sucks. 

Minnesota Vikings

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Adrian Peterson leads the league in rushing, Teddy Bridgewater is even better with Adrian Peterson on the field, Mike Zimmer puts Mike Wallace in his place, their defense is really good, they might have the best secondary in football.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Mike Wallace quits on this team, Adrian Peterson is a shell of his former self, Teddy Bridgewater regresses, they struggle on the road. 

Detroit Lions

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Calvin Johnson is healthy, Matthew Stafford finally figures it all out, their defense doesn’t miss Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairly as much as everyone thinks they will. 

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Jim Caldwell is a zombie, Matthew Stafford is still Matthew Stafford, they play in Detroit, their special teams suck, their defense isn’t as good as last year. 

Will They Win The Super Bowl? AFC East Edition

The NFL season starts Thursday, which means you’re going to read a bunch of previews in order to gain insight on all 32 teams. Let me save you some time. Over the next couple of days, I’m going to go division-by-division and tell you why each team will win the Super Bowl and why they won’t. Today I’ll look at the AFC East.

New England Patriots

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Tom Brady is still Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski is the best tight end in the league, that awkward moment when Roger Goodell has to present Tom Brady with the trophy, Bill Belichick is the best coach in the league, they find a new way to cheat, Malcolm Butler easily replaces Darrelle Revis as the #1 corner, this is Tom Brady’s last season and he will retire on top.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: They face the New York Giants in the Super Bowl, Tom Brady gets hurt, Rob Gronkowski gets hurt, their secondary is a mess, Roger Goodell suspends everyone on the team out of spite, Tom Brady’s marriage falls apart, Rob Gronkowski parties too much, Bill Belichick is out of cheating ideas. 

Buffalo Bills

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Their offense is good once you get past the quarterback situation, Rex Ryan won games with Mark Sanchez so of course he can win games with Tyrod Taylor, their defense is good and Rex Ryan will make them better, seriously, their defense is really good and Rex Ryan will make them better, no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Tyrod Taylor is their quarterback, Rex Ryan is a good, but not great coach, Rex Ryan can never beat Bill Belichick, LeSean McCoy is ineffective due to weak quarterback play, they’re the Buffalo Bills.

New York Jets

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Geno Smith won’t be their starter, Brandon Marshall and Eric Decker are a deadly receiving duo, Darrelle Revis is still Darrelle Revis, they have a really good defensive line and pass rush, they have a really good secondary, Geno Smith continues to owe people money.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Geno Smith ends up being their starter, their offensive line sucks, Darrelle Revis is Tampa Bay Darrelle Revis, Brandon Marshall hates his quarterback, Eric Decker is too busy with his reality show, they have no running game, Antonio Cromartie can’t keep track of his kids. 

Miami Dolphins

Why They’ll Win The Super Bowl: Lauren Tannehill surpasses Gisele for hottest NFL wife, their defensive line might end up being the best in the league, Ndamukong Suh injures every quarterback, their offense is underrated.

Why They Won’t Win The Super Bowl: Joe Philbin is their head coach, Ndamukong Suh gets suspended, the offensive line gets Ryan Tannehill killed, their secondary isn’t good, turns out their offense isn’t that good, they’re associated with the HBO show Ballers.